Friday, January 18, 2008

My Middle East & South East Asia Tour (Part 3: Singapore)



After a I hr stop-over at Colombo, Sri Lanka, we were off to Singapore on Emirates Airlines. Customs at Singapore’s not as “breezy” as Dubai. The guys at Dubai had stamped my visa on an obscure page of my passport, so the customs guy and I spent several minutes looking for it! For a moment, my heart was in my throat and I thought to myself – “this guy will think, these naija guys have come again”! Eventually, the stamp was found and I was let through (after the guy had ascertained exactly how much I had on me, counted the money and looked at my hotel booking).

One thing I noted on my trips was that no one at the different airports asked to see baggage claim tags, meaning anyone could have picked up any piece of luggage on the conveyor belt and walked out, without being challenged!

Singapore isn’t as shiny and new as Dubai and there was obvious security at the airport (soldiers with guns). My friend picked me up and we left for my hotel via train. At some point in my trip, I bought a tourist pass from a major train station -Bugis - which provides unlimited rides on trains and buses over a 3-day period as well as a list of places to go and a map. Very useful for a tourist. On a sad note, I learnt from my friend that Singapore required a deposit on every ride (which you reclaim at your destination), because Nigerians had once defrauded the system, necessitating the new rules. Sigh! You can’t eat or drink on the train or bus and there are constant terrorism advisories.

In the evening, I sampled my first local meal. Trust me, you never want to see how the food is cooked. Everything swims in broth and you eat with a fork and spoon or chopsticks– no knife or serviettes – you come with yours. There’s really nothing to cut anyway as everything’s bite-sized. The food isn’t peppery, as their chilli is sweet not hot.

On my second day, we visited the Esplanade (a cultural centre for plays and events) where there’s a Haagen Dasz store (I still dream of sampling the fondue) and Suntec Plaza –site of the Fountain of Wealth, the world’s biggest fountain and haven to restaurants featuring food from across Asia. In Asia, the food names are largely unpronounceable, so simply point at what you want or observe what someone’s eating; if you like the look of it, ask for it. But, don’t point with your forefinger – it’s impolite – point with your thumb instead.

There are few black faces in Singapore. Although, the city has the largest port in the world, hence is a centre for trade, I guess many traders prefer China – for cheaper goods. Many Nigerians congregate around Mustafa’s in Little India, a 24-hr supermarket close to an African Kitchen. My friend advised me to steer clear cause of the negative reputation that Nigerians have developed in Singapore.

There are people EVERYWHERE in Singapore! At times, I wished God could mysteriously zap about a quarter so I could walk at a leisurely pace. However, despite their numbers, I was told the city has a shrinking population, as childbirth is dropping. Yet, they are strict on immigration, preferring guest workers from other Asian countries.

The weather is hot (and when it’s not, it’s raining), Singapore has a lot of underpasses and with the train system, you rarely get to see the scenery go by. But, the city is relatively compact so you can walk everywhere if you know the way.

The top hotels are on Orchard Road (Singapore’s Rodeo Drive) or if you prefer Old World charm, try the Raffles Hotel in the Colonial District (Stamford Raffles founded modern Singapore). The national pastime in Singapore is eating. There’s food everywhere, yet it’s so healthy, you don’t put on any weight. The Singaporeans don't have a cooking culture, so everyone eats out - you'll see an entire family with babies and grandparents in tow at the Food Courts.

The young ladies are VERY fashionable and will rival any UNILAG babe and they love to shop! Also, because of the heat, this is the city of the scantily clad. Casual clothes are a hit here, especially jeans shorts and flip flops. Bad news though, the women are “very modestly endowed” and there are language difficulties. Only a few are spectacularly beautiful according to subjective Western standards and are usually of mixed race. There are 3 main tribes in Singapore – Chinese, Malay and Indian. Women wear their hair long and well endowed people with short hair are not considered beautiful. Singaporeans are openly affectionate, canoodling and holding hands and sex begins at a young age. But because of very strict birth control and education, you rarely see unwed mothers. Some hotels are known to provide hourly rates for quickies and it’s done openly.

Singapore is very organized – there are signs everywhere, street shops, public utilities and WIFI. Contemporary hip-hop is the rage. If you’re visiting the Singapore Zoo or Jurong Bird Park, you’ll be well advised to wear trousers and socks as there are sand flies in the “jungle”. Most parks open at about 9am and usually have specialised shows through the day, so it’s pretty much a day trip, although the Night Safari attached to the zoo has a great show at night. I sampled the famous “Singapore Sling” at Sentosa Island, where there’s an underwater show (which I was late for unfortunately). The Sling is kinda like Chapman, but it’s fruit juice and gin. I did note that the Food Courts are usually at the entrance to the theme park, so even if you don’t want to pay to enter and just need food, they do a brisk business anyway.

Singapore is a good place to go to, but you can take it all in, in a few days and rarely need to stay much longer than a week.

My Middle East & South East Asia Tour (Part 2: Eastern Coast, UAE & Oman)

Shajah Emirate, UAE

Shajah is one of 7 emirates in the UAE and is on the eastern coast. Known as the dry emirate, liquor isn’t allowed within its borders. Shajah kinda reminds me of Kubwa (hope I got the spelling right) in Abuja, Nigeria. Accommodation is cheaper there than in Dubai and although it’s technically about 30 minutes away, because of traffic, it’s a 2hr journey during rush hour.

Shajah is the market for 2nd hand stuff in the UAE and you can get household goods at great prices here. They also produce Gas; have solid minerals and rear racing camels.

The tourist attractions are the volcanic mountains and Friday Market (for fruits and carpets). A Guggenheim Museum is also planned. English is not as widely spoken here as in Dubai, but most signs are in Arabic and English.

Fujeirah Emirate, UAE

Fujeirah is another Emirate on the eastern coast of the UAE. It’s a coastal emirate so water sports and fishing are main attractions. You have a choice of a luxury Japanese Resort or the more mainstream Sandy Beach Resort or Rotana Hotel. There’s scuba diving, kayaking and spas.

On an interesting note, I noticed that during the tours, the guides speak both German and English. Is it because Germans are involved in a number of building projects in the UAE or the fact that they just get around a lot?

Sultanate of Oman

The area of Oman that I visited was by the Indian Ocean. Apparently it is one of the most fertile areas in Oman with a lot of dates and “Dongonyaro” trees (Neem Trees). In that particular area, camel milk and flesh is sold and fishing is a major industry.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

The Emotionally Selfish

I have a group of new friends that I term - Emotionally Selfish. They are a bunch of good people and i truly admire a few in particular, but they are plagued by an odd brew of emotional manipulation that may be unknown to even them.

Have you ever met people who call you one moment all bubbly and cheerful, you gist for hours and they're like - "i missed you so much" etc - then they don't speak with you again for the next month. It is those people I'm referring to.

I don't think they mean any harm, perhaps they are just relationally limited, stunted or ignorant. But a few are actually quite knowing and selfish. They only call you when THEY feel like talking and at their convenience. At other times, they are too busy, not in the mood or unavailable. They are unpredictable, forgetful, spaced out, treat your friendship like a yoyo and are moody. In truth, they are unworthy of good friendships but for the fact that they have really wonderful hearts and in rare moments of lucidity will do anything for a friend.

Sometimes, i think their ability to withold emotional response and favour is a subtle manipulative technique. As in, if they control how fast the pace of the friendship should go, then they are effectively in control. They are the type of people you can't call at 2am when you really need them. In fact, by then, they'll be fast asleep with their phones off! They haven't grasped the simple truth that friendship is about availability, consistency and giving.

The caveat of course, is those who don't want to be friends. In that case, they should simply say so and stop the cat and mouse, indirect, dont-want-to-hurt-my-feelings nonsense.

My attitude towards such people is simple. If i find i'm the one who's always calling and they never call, or writing and they never reply - on time - or sharing and they never say more than two words, then i summarily delete all their contacts and remove them from the hallowed halls of my memory.

Counterintuitive Decisions

God's commands or leading are counterintuitive and very hard. Sometimes he may pitch loving someone against doing what you know is right. Then he takes a "siddon look" attitude and waits for you to make a decision - your decision.

He sends no flash of lightning nor does he influence your choice. He simply waits. Afterall, he's given you more than enough data to make an informed decision.

In my mind, i have imagined what i want and what God wants to be like 2 distinct worlds separated by an unbridgeable chasm. Both worlds exist in parallel, one rarely disturbing the other and both are quite legitimate. Anyone who has tried to make money the "normal" way and those who have tried to do it the "sowing and reaping" route know that eventually both lead to money and success. But the methodologies are different, the experiences and rewards different. And it's ultimately a choice.

Going down God's route will only fully make sense in the afterlife. Face it, on earth, the output is usually not commensurate with the input. The headaches, sickness, poverty, scorn and persecution are simply not worth it if one were to look at earthly rewards alone. I can do things much cheaper and faster my own way. Perhaps that is why the Apostle said that "if there is no afterlife, then Christians are of all men, most miserable"! Perhaps in the next life the accounts will finally be balanced.

And man, can God make seemingly impossible demands! Someone close to you dies and in your grief, along comes God and asks you to do something for Him. You're like "God, how could you be so insensitive! I'm mourning xyz here and you're asking me to do this other thing that's entirely unrelated?" It is at this point that we take offence and label God unfair. However, in the parallel world, one thing has absolutely nothing to do with the other. In that world, what God is asking of you has nothing to do with the death of the loved one. Kinda like how in the Military, when a job has to be done, you put aside personal stuff and just get it done. That's the life of a soldier.

But again, God simply watches and waits for you to make a decision.

I've had to make counterintuitive decisions in the last few years and one thing i've realised is they don't go away. They come back again and again till you choose - one way or the other. You can't ignore them and in making your choice you must be fully committed to the choice you make or else you'll be miserable thereafter as you second guess your decision.

It hasn't been easy and i need my friends more than ever at this point. Interestingly, it is at this point that my friends are far away. All my intellectual connections are failing and those who i need to be brave have become timid preferring to hide their heads in the sand than question fundamental principles. Therefore i have decided to eschew worry and simply throw myself at the Master's feet in humility as I plead for the mercy to be prevented from making the wrong decisions, no matter how well-intentioned.

In this place

There is peace in this place
Peace I have searched for and ached for

There is knowledge in this place
One far beyond my years
Insight that refuses to leave me alone
Get out of my head or relent in its intensity

There is sadness & regret in this place
But hard-earned lessons have been learned
And a better me has emerged

There is nobody in this place
It is devoid of human understanding
And friendship

I dare to be me in this place
I refuse to pretend or apologise
And in this place there are no negotiations
Trade-offs or bartering

There is a future in this place
I can see it, smell it
But I just can't seem to taste it

There is dissatisfaction in this place
I am not doing enough
But I can do much more

I must let go in this place
I am not in control
I keep telling myself this over and over

There is music in this place
I can hear it, sing it but i can't write it
I miss the wonderful melodies I have not written in years

There is salvation in this place
Maybe I can do it this year
Triumph, overcome, sacrifice and become

Perhaps I will find purpose in this place

There is solitude in this place
I am losing my ability to speak
For I do it so rarely and have lost all capacity for small talk

I am too serious in this place
There are too many rules, principles and standards
And I have no one to look up to
No teacher, no big brother

I am lost in this place
Lost and alone
For the higher I go
The fewer companions I see along the way

I would really like to fall in love in this place
But I am a doggone realist
Falling in love with a friend
Is a rare but wonderful thing

I am waiting in this place
I need to hear it, read it
Understand it
Know the right thing to do

Please speak to me in this place
I am troubled and afraid

I am crying in this place
Always on the inside
No one knows and no one sees
And it never lasts very long

For I must function in this place
Do what needs doing
Get the job done
Perform. Lead

I’m no longer fighting in this place
I will not expend needless emotional energy

I am buying new things in this place
Surrounding myself with the comfort and beauty

I worry about my family in this place
But I pray, simply pray

I am changing in this place
Becoming better, kinder

I see the hearts of men in this place
Their goodness, strength, kindness and frailty

I admit my failings in this place
The gross inadequacies of the female in me

I have tried to be a better woman in this place
I keep trying and trying
But there’s no one to tell me if I am succeeding

I am feeling sorry for myself in this place
It is a strange condition
And somehow it seems cowardly

I will not make the same mistakes in this place
Enough is enough is enough

I fear morning in this place
The harsh light of judgment
And the desolation it brings

Perhaps someday I will eventually leave this place
This place of sadness, sorrow and hopefulness

Friday, January 11, 2008

My Middle East & South East Asia Tour (Part 1: Dubai, UAE) - Updated with Details of New Visits in February, 2012


This year, my vacation period was at the end of the year. Because i can't stand the cold, i usually need to choose a holiday destination in a warm region. I chose the Middle East and South East Asia. The deciding factors for me were a friend in Singapore and the promise of a good massage in Malaysia.

My trip began with a couple of days in the UAE and a quick swing through Oman (and back to the UAE). First stop - Dubai.

Dubai is one of 7 emirates in the UAE. While Abu Dhabi is the capital and the richest emirate due to its vast reserves of oil, Dubai IS the tourism city. Dubai's oil reserves are expected to run out in 10 years hence the diversification into tourism and real estate. Abu Dhabi has another 100 years.

Everything and i mean everything in Dubai is designed to make you spend money. The city is pretty well organised and ultra clean; new developments abound; there are signs indicating everything and the people are tourist friendly. English is also widely spoken. Customs was a breeze; was picked up by the tour operator - Arabian Adventures and given a welcome pack; money changers (Bureaux de Change) were a few minutes from my hotel and a well stocked mall with an ugly exterior but great variety (Burjuman Centre) . I wasn't able to get a hang of the local transport system as the tour operator took me everywhere (or i walked), but taxis seem to be the best way to get around. The "car" of choice is Toyota or a bicycle. The tour operators are always on time. When they say 7.15pm, they are at your door by 7.05pm!

Smoking seems to be the "national past time" in Dubai and the weather was cooooooooold. In Dubai, it's either very hot or cold (the 2 extremes of the desert), depending on the time of year you visit.

The best place to eat is the Bastak or Old Town by the creek. The creek separates the two sides of Dubai: the city and Deira. Bastakiah Nights restaurant is highly recommended or the Dhowa Floating Restaurants.

Dhowas are wooden ships that were used to transport goods once-upon-a-time. The Bastak has a good nightlife and many of the old buildings are made from Coral. Apparently the building technology was taught by the Iranians. The Museum is also at the Bastak. You can have drinks by the waterside at the Heritage or Diving Village or sit quietly by the Silk Plaza to gist. The food in Dubai is very similar to what you'll find anywhere else in the wood. They have versions of savoury rice, meatballs, lasagna, stew, even something that tastes like tapioca pudding.

A very romantic thing to do would be to rent a ship for the night and have a romantic dinner for two while sailing, then fall asleep under the stars. The tour company can also organise a fireside dinner in the desert with traditional music and dancers. Dubai is ideally a city for romance and shopping NOT quiet contemplation. It's too noisy. I fear it may become overcrowded like Singapore.

If you're with a tour guide, the best tours to go for are the City Tour, Desert Safari and Burj Dubai tour. If you're the shopping type, it may be best to stay near the Mercata Mall or the Wafi Shopping Centre by the Grand Hyatt and Citigroup. That way you can simply walk to the malls.

On an interesting note - there are no mosquitoes in Dubai. Water is more expensive than oil (it's the desert!) hence no pools of water for them to breed. I also noticed that there were no condoms in the convenience stores in the more conservative emirates. And i saw an "ELEGANZA" apartments! It's a 24hr city and well lit and like Abuja, Nigeria, there are hotels!hotels!hotels!

At the Airport enroute Singapore, i noticed my flight wasn't called directly. Apparently it was a connecting flight to Australia?, so the airport staff kept announcing Australia NOT singapore. I made my flight though.

I've updated my photos on Facebook for my second trip in February, 2012. This time i did the Desert Safari which was just wonderful! You need to have a strong stomach for it though. It's what i imagine a rollercoaster ride would be like! There are belly dancers and great food at the end of the safari.
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