I've decided to do a blog series about my journey of discovery with God.
About 15 years after I first got to know him, I'd had enough of 2nd hand Christianity. You know the kind where God is referred to in reported speech or patiently explained to you by third parties. I no longer wanted to know the God in church, books or choruses. I needed to know him for myself, talk to him, ask him questions, relate with him. I wanted to be the author of those books and choruses - telling my own experiential stories of what God had done and who he was.
You see, I became bored with the routine church going (though I was still enamoured by the Word). Perhaps because I never really knew why we went to church in the first place or why it had the structure it did. (I knew the scripted reason, but didn't really 'get' it. And anyway, school church was so much more fun and real.)
So began my journey of discovery. I would soon realise that my deepest epiphanies would occur during periods of great crisis.
This blog series will seek to share those personal insights. In some places, the actors will be referred to obliquely (as I'm not sure they'd like their names in the social media space).
Kindly follow me as I share. This is My Story. This is My Song...
(Follow me @subomiplumptre or join the conversation at #MakingGodFamous, #ShoSpeaks)
Subomi Plumptre's Blog: Thoughts, beliefs and expressions
Monday, July 30, 2012
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
25 Entrepreneurial Lessons
1. Integrity matters. Build goodwill capital. You’ll need it to attract finance for business expansion or a crucial job recommendation.
2. Focus. Become very skilled at and known for something. It will generate referrals and significantly reduce your cost of marketing.
3. Read. Study. Be exposed. Your business can't rise above the level of your thinking and life concept.
4. Gain international perspectives and use international benchmarks which can be sourced from magazines, blogs etc. If you can, engage international interns.
5. Gain generational perspective: Hire young people.
6. Sometimes, you need to ignore industry chatter. Especially when you're cooking a breakthrough model.
7. Control your HR costs. Hire staff who can play BOTH professional and admin roles. This also creates a sense of ownership.
8. Corpers with potential are cost-efficient hires. To retain them, adopt an incentive program with the following features: Mission, responsibility, exposure, access, reduced cost of living & bonuses.
9. An entrepreneur cannot afford to NOT pay for performance. Include a trial period in your hiring process.
10. Identify protégées. They are your future managers. Pour yourself into them. Someday you won't have the energy to work at your current pace.
11. Adopt financial discipline. Constantly review actual figures not estimates. Never underbid or under price. Always cover your admin expenses.
12. Delicately manage 3 sources of income: Cash flow for operations, bulk capital for major purchases & project finance for expansion.
13. Proactively manage your culture. Use family meetings, life sessions & time outs. Create a company legend or story.
14. Institute annual strategy or review sessions. Review the numbers and lessons. Set goals and achieve them.
15. Hold monthly financial meetings. They provide an early warning signal when your company is in trouble.
16. Weekly management meetings are essential. It's a time to set goals for the week and review those for the previous week. It's also a great HR performance tracker.
17. Provide your staff with a periodic measure of progress. It helps you to identify those that are just coasting or who are lost within the system.
18. Documentation will save you. It professionalises you, increases your brand profile and provides hard evidence in times of trouble.
19. A CEO must serve & put the needs of others first. He must be accountable and relinquish the day to day financials after putting in place adequate controls.
20. Structure is key. Put in place requisite regulatory, legal, accounting & HR structures as you move from a Stage 1 to Stage 2 enterprise.
21. You need staff that can represent the company when the CEO is not around. The brand must become independent of the CEO.
22. Craft an expansion strategy for the future. It shows vision. When it's time, co-opt people in your network as strategic advisors.
23. Family matters. Staff can't work when there's trouble at home or their spouses oppose them. Develop programmes to help them understand the company. Programmes include bring-your-child to-work-day, annual family picnic, food & welfare packs for junior staff etc.
24. Review suggestions from your staff on how to make work better. But filter what they say for 'freebie' tendencies and presumption.
25. If you’re lucky, your company will attain institutional positioning. It will become the industry leader and set the standard.
2. Focus. Become very skilled at and known for something. It will generate referrals and significantly reduce your cost of marketing.
3. Read. Study. Be exposed. Your business can't rise above the level of your thinking and life concept.
4. Gain international perspectives and use international benchmarks which can be sourced from magazines, blogs etc. If you can, engage international interns.
5. Gain generational perspective: Hire young people.
6. Sometimes, you need to ignore industry chatter. Especially when you're cooking a breakthrough model.
7. Control your HR costs. Hire staff who can play BOTH professional and admin roles. This also creates a sense of ownership.
8. Corpers with potential are cost-efficient hires. To retain them, adopt an incentive program with the following features: Mission, responsibility, exposure, access, reduced cost of living & bonuses.
9. An entrepreneur cannot afford to NOT pay for performance. Include a trial period in your hiring process.
10. Identify protégées. They are your future managers. Pour yourself into them. Someday you won't have the energy to work at your current pace.
11. Adopt financial discipline. Constantly review actual figures not estimates. Never underbid or under price. Always cover your admin expenses.
12. Delicately manage 3 sources of income: Cash flow for operations, bulk capital for major purchases & project finance for expansion.
13. Proactively manage your culture. Use family meetings, life sessions & time outs. Create a company legend or story.
14. Institute annual strategy or review sessions. Review the numbers and lessons. Set goals and achieve them.
15. Hold monthly financial meetings. They provide an early warning signal when your company is in trouble.
16. Weekly management meetings are essential. It's a time to set goals for the week and review those for the previous week. It's also a great HR performance tracker.
17. Provide your staff with a periodic measure of progress. It helps you to identify those that are just coasting or who are lost within the system.
18. Documentation will save you. It professionalises you, increases your brand profile and provides hard evidence in times of trouble.
19. A CEO must serve & put the needs of others first. He must be accountable and relinquish the day to day financials after putting in place adequate controls.
20. Structure is key. Put in place requisite regulatory, legal, accounting & HR structures as you move from a Stage 1 to Stage 2 enterprise.
21. You need staff that can represent the company when the CEO is not around. The brand must become independent of the CEO.
22. Craft an expansion strategy for the future. It shows vision. When it's time, co-opt people in your network as strategic advisors.
23. Family matters. Staff can't work when there's trouble at home or their spouses oppose them. Develop programmes to help them understand the company. Programmes include bring-your-child to-work-day, annual family picnic, food & welfare packs for junior staff etc.
24. Review suggestions from your staff on how to make work better. But filter what they say for 'freebie' tendencies and presumption.
25. If you’re lucky, your company will attain institutional positioning. It will become the industry leader and set the standard.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Lessons from a CS Lewis Tweet
I subscribe to @CSLewisDaily on twitter. A while ago, a tweet caught my eye which I meditated on this morning: "God cannot give you happiness outside of himself".
If he could, he would. The nature of God's kindness is such that he would do almost anything to ensure his beloved are happy. However, the limitation of our human design is that we cannot attain it outside of a relationship and constant fellowship with him. It's written in our DNA.
The best way I can describe it is to use marriage as an analogy. In marriage, you make a conscious decision to entrust the provision of your deepest emotional needs to your spouse. That's the way marriage is designed. If for instance, a woman's emotional need is conversation, a husband could choose to ignore it due to his punishing schedule. He could say: I can't adjust my habits and personality for my wife. After all she knew who I was before she married me". The decision not to change effectively sentences the wife to a lifetime of unhappiness. The man suffers too, for as every good man knows, when his wife is not happy, he isn't as well.
It's the same thing with a relationship with God. We could ask: Why did you enter a relationship with Him, if you weren't willing to accept the parameters"? If you choose not to change and make time for him, you sentence yourself to a lifetime of misery and hurt him too.
Try a little experiment. Spend 5 minutes each morning for a week, just talking to him - Letting him know what you think of him, what confuses you about him. Tell him your fears, challenges, hopes and dreams. I'd like to know how it goes. Tell me in a week.
If he could, he would. The nature of God's kindness is such that he would do almost anything to ensure his beloved are happy. However, the limitation of our human design is that we cannot attain it outside of a relationship and constant fellowship with him. It's written in our DNA.
The best way I can describe it is to use marriage as an analogy. In marriage, you make a conscious decision to entrust the provision of your deepest emotional needs to your spouse. That's the way marriage is designed. If for instance, a woman's emotional need is conversation, a husband could choose to ignore it due to his punishing schedule. He could say: I can't adjust my habits and personality for my wife. After all she knew who I was before she married me". The decision not to change effectively sentences the wife to a lifetime of unhappiness. The man suffers too, for as every good man knows, when his wife is not happy, he isn't as well.
It's the same thing with a relationship with God. We could ask: Why did you enter a relationship with Him, if you weren't willing to accept the parameters"? If you choose not to change and make time for him, you sentence yourself to a lifetime of misery and hurt him too.
Try a little experiment. Spend 5 minutes each morning for a week, just talking to him - Letting him know what you think of him, what confuses you about him. Tell him your fears, challenges, hopes and dreams. I'd like to know how it goes. Tell me in a week.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Shosho's Incomplete Guide to Personal Development
I’ve been meaning to develop a personal development guide for some time now. (Personal development in this context means random and useful information). But, I’ve been busy and quite honestly lazy; which means I probably need my own advice.
While I’m no expert on the subject, I regularly meet hugely talented people who struggle with entrepreneurship, career or life projects unnecessarily. Many times, the only thing standing in the way of success is information, exposure, and the willingness to accept new knowledge while ditching existing paradigms. They need access to the right information, some support and the humility to change. What complicates matters is that having access to the right information at the right time is not guaranteed. Sometimes it’s simply an act of God’s kindness. (There is such a thing as ignorant bliss!)
First Thing’s First, Google it!
We live in the era of Social Enlightenment where access to knowledge is at unprecedented levels. Therefore, one of the most important tools in any personal development quest is Google. Many solutions can literally be found at the click of a mouse. But, if you hate to read or sift through data, there’s not much Google can do for you. The magnitude of information on the web and the limited nature of time are such that the ability to separate relevant information from worthless junk is a key requirement for the effective use of Google. The world is very unforgiving to those who need to be spoon-fed.
Study Popular Culture
You must be aware of and in tune with popular culture if you plan to sell anything to this (or the next generation). While time-held principles remain relevant; their application, presentation and communication change from generation to generation. It will be difficult to successfully sell a product to an audience you do not understand or you have a high level of disdain for. They will sense your patronizing attitude. And, they hate hypocrisy.
To bring yourself up to speed on popular culture, I recommend the following: Use “generational communication tools”. There are cultural mindsets that you’ll never understand if you don’t chat, have a data-enabled phone and Facebook & Twitter accounts. Access to instantaneous and multiple streams of information is very much a hallmark of this generation.
Subscribe to relevant RSS feeds from informational websites. That way, 10 minutes after you long on to the internet, you’ll have read bite-size highlights of what’s going on in the world and in the sectors you’re most interested in.
To ensure proper online representation (especially if you’re a public figure or plan to be one), develop a combination of the following: A structured Linked In Page, Wikipedia Page, Blog, Website, Facebook Page and Twitter Page. When people meet you, they’re more than likely to Google you immediately after. When they do, the first page that comes up should be your “official” web presence not random chatter on Twitter! You may consider professional portraits for your online pages or something creative. But, please do not use a grainy passport photo!
Try to log into Social Networks e.g. Twitter at least once a day (preferably in the morning) to “listen” to generational chatter and to feel the pulse of the middle class. It’ll give you insight into what topics are hot as well as popular lingo. Also pay attention to media, in general. The media is the voice of this generation.
For music, online sites like Billboard.com and the iTunes Charts tell you what’s happening on the global scene, while Notjustok.com (and any number of other entertainment aggregators) curate Nigerian music. Listening to local radio stations keeps you up-to-date, particularly drive-time shows. Buying music on a regular basis helps you to assess shifts in musical styles, as generational tastes morph very quickly. A hot single may not give you the full experience; you’ve got to listen to the entire album. Finally, at least 1 hour of music videos on a contemporary music station once or twice a week should give you a good feel of visual pop culture. Try Soundcity, MTV Base or Trace Urban.
For all things youth, subscribe to magazines like Ynaija. (You may also browse the online version). To gain a “feel” for popular fashion, spend some time observing people at the Mall. Just visit every now and then; sit and watch young people pass by. You’ll learn a lot about this generation from the way they walk, gesture, talk and dress.
For more refined fashion tastes, you may subscribe to British GQ (Not the American edition), Vogue and Vanity Fair. Read the articles; don’t just look at the pretty pictures. I especially like the way foreign magazines imprint certain standards of quality in your subconscious. After a while, you instinctively develop an aversion to things that are tacky or razz.
For the business minded, Fast Company is a must-read. Few other magazines write about the business world in popular language or emphasise business innovation. Reading the Economist and Fortune regularly for at least a year will teach you the fine art of business communication and writing. They will help you to develop structured and logical presentation which are invaluable for business correspondence. They are tedious to read, but subconsciously develop your vocabulary.
I encourage you to also watch movies, preferably at the cinema. It’s a lifestyle, not a waste of money.
Travel as Much as You Are Able to
Whenever you can afford it, travel. I heartily recommend a visit to all the geopolitical zones in Nigeria. It will greatly broaden your understanding of your fellow citizens. A trip to the hinterland will transform your thinking about what it means to be a Nigerian. Traveling to exotic international locales is all well and good, however, if you’ve never ventured beyond our shores before, I recommend Ghana as your first stop and then perhaps the UK and US! Travelling to Yankee or Jand will hopefully cure you of the fear of visa applications and the excitement of “travelling abroad”. There’s something in Nigerians that idolizes travelling abroad. You might as well do it and get it over with.
Learning the basic protocols of travelling will come in handy for years to come. For example, the seemingly little things like buying a sim card at the airport; changing only a small amount of Forex there because you get better rates in town, dealing with immigration and requisite travel documentation, understanding a city’s transportation system and route maps, learning which cities allow you to drive with a Nigerian license, knowing how to open a non-resident bank account so you have a backup debit card to your Nigerian one, using travel sites like Trip Advisor to check hotel reviews etc.
One thing about travelling though – the cultural exposure matters, not just shopping. Sometimes, it pays to pre-book tours BEFORE you leave for your trip or else the slots may be filled for days by the time you get there. Do not depend on your host to show you around. Many residents have never taken a tour of the cities they live in. Almost every country or city has an official tour company, e.g. Arabian Adventures for Dubai. Ideally, your first 2 days should be dedicated to tours. On the first day, try a city bus tour or a walking tour. It’s best to go in a group, especially if you’re travelling alone. It’s a wonderful way to meet new people while minimizing the risks of exploring alone. Nowadays, you can do almost anything you want to in a foreign country via a tour. There are even pre-packaged tours for a night out on the town.
When you return, you’ll find you’ve gained a better understanding of and tolerance for human differences. Your heart and mind will expand. Don’t ask me how; they just do.
The Language of International Business
If you’re thinking of expanding your business globally and do not wish to retain the services of an interpreter, you may need to brush up on our lingua franca, English or a foreign language. Your proposals shouldn’t be liberally sprinkled with dangerous artillery.
There are many organisations and tools that can help you with spoken and written business communication. Use them.
First Impressions
If you are hopeless with fashion and you’ll like someone to help you to design your own personal style and look, kindly contact a personal shopper or lifestyle consultant. There are many affordable ones. You don’t even need a professional. You may have a colleague or sibling who loves to shop and has a great sense of taste. Give them your shopping money and a little extra to cover their transportation costs and they’ll gladly shop for you. Trust me, they know where all the bargains are.
Sometimes it helps if you go online to identify the kind of things you like to make their shopping easier or to familiarize yourself with what’s available. Everybody looks good in Nigerian fabric and nowadays you can make contemporary stuff that’s suitable for both formal and informal occasions. Clothing made from understated high quality fabric is acceptable at almost any formal event in Nigeria. Simply add a dash of personal style.
Guys, please learn how to knot a tie and open a bottle of wine. And learn how to drive competently. For some reason, women associate competent driving with competence in “certain other areas that will go unmentioned”. Ladies, do learn how to cook the major food groups . Even if you hate cooking, there’s no point to prove. It’s just nice to not look lost in a kitchen.
If you need help determining what hair style or cut suits you, go to any highly recommended salon or barber and ASK them to advise on what looks good on you. Please do not go on a weekend if you require personalized attention. It’s usually a mad rush. Women can learn how to apply makeup or buy appropriate skin care products from any notable makeup artist. (Basic tip – Avoid lining eyebrows or applying layers of foundation. They make women look angry. Also replace soap with a cream cleanser for your face).
Choose perfume or cologne that’s attractive to the opposite sex and not just one you personally like. Whenever a woman hugs a guy and unconsciously snuggles or goes, “you smell nice”, that’s his perfect scent. He should stick with it.
A manicure and pedicure never hurt anyone. And the spa’s perfect for those who don’t know how to destress and need it beaten out of them (a.k.a Massage).
Try having drinks in a hotel bar or if you can afford it, do dinner. It helps you “escape” Nigeria for a while. You’ll observe people from different countries and absorb interesting habits. Importantly, you’ll become familiar with formal place setting (the correct positioning of cutlery). Like we all learnt from the movie, Pretty Woman, when dining formally, you use your cutlery from the outside-in; beginning with those furthest away from your plate and working your way in from course to course (Appetizer to Dessert). Sometimes, the dessert spoon may be placed above the plate and your wine/juice glass is different from your water glass.
Eating Right and Exercising
If you can’t go to the gym religiously, check out online sites for simple exercise plans you can do at home and tips on what not to eat. The basic rules are drink at least a litre of water a day, eat fruits everyday, cut out starches and increase your lean protein intake. Stop skipping breakfast but keep it light (e.g. Cereal and fruit), exercise at least 30 minutes 3 times a week and oh…one more thing…everything that tastes good is bad for you.
Buying Gifts
If you’re terrible at picking gifts, let others do it for you. Or if you have a creative gift concept you’d like to bring to life, let others execute it for you. Try Konnektors as a starting point. Also, if you’re not sure about what to buy for someone, try talking to their sibling or someone who’s close to them to get the inside scoop on what they truly desire right now.
And of Course Sex Matters
If you missed your integrated science class in Form 1, you really need to begin with the book, Every Woman, just to know where all the equipment is and their functions. (I personally find it amusing when guys mix up ovulation and menstruation). There are many professionally written books about sex like The Magic of Sex by Mariam Stoppard. Popular fiction (novels) will provide an overview of popular sexual terminology - It helps to know what the popular names for fellatio or cunninlingus are.
Birth control or family planning options abound and speaking to a professional is advised. I suggest you personally Google and research everything you’re told by your Doctor, as many myths abound. Personally, birth control options that don’t mess with a woman’s hormones or those 5 glorious days of ovulation are preferred.
Coming Home
Home should be a haven and sanctuary. Simply put, you are affected by what you consistently surround yourself with and it’s hard to truly relax when you live in the midst of chaos. It’s better to leave a room bare than to stock it with junk. Serenity and comfort are hallmarks of a great home. Even if you live with others, your room or personal space should reflect the quality of your mind and soul. Your living space and the inside of your car send a strong signal about the level of disorder you’re willing to tolerate. Also, stop wearing rags at home. A mentor once told me to dress in such a way that when a visitor comes, you don’t have to change first before opening the door.
There are companies who’ll do affordable interior decorating consultations. Speak to one if you need to.
Catching up on all You’ve Missed
If you’d like to catch up on popular culture, try Time Magazine’s The All Time Best 100 (http://www.time.com/time/specials/2007/0,28757,1662224,00.html). There are many other online resources:
For movies: http://www.slashfilm.com/yahoos-100-movies-to-see-before-you-die/
For music: http://www.guardian.co.uk/news/datablog/2009/mar/20/1 (Click on the full list to view).
You can buy in stores or download at “you-know-where”.
For books: http://tinyurl.com/myreadinglist
If you read a new book every month or two, you’ll gradually become more knowledgeable and your worldview will expand.
For travel: http://www.tripadvisor.com/GoListDetail-i17106-100_places_to_see_before_I_die.html
Finally, who you know still matters
In business, who you know doesn’t necessarily determine your trajectory but it helps. People are comfortable doing business with people they know or have a trusted reference for. It impacts access, clout and influence. This is even more important in a business climate like Nigeria’s, where a lot of business is done informally.
You really don’t need to join a club to “belong”. There are several social, professional and business networks that will suffice. Try volunteering on the event organizing committee of a network like Wimbiz for example, or your school’s Old Boy’s/Girl’s Association. You’ll be amazed how many people will feel predisposed to listening to your business idea, when they’ve witnessed first-hand how committed and dedicated you are to a cause. And if you can’t serve on the committee, give something.
There are several entrepreneurial networks who meet regularly and have become a family of sorts.
If you’re an up and coming business person and you’re on the outside looking in, join a network fast and stop relying solely on “mentors” to help you.
Conclusion
It will be nice if people can share links and resources that may prove helpful to others. Feel free to post those links under comments.
Thank you for reading.
While I’m no expert on the subject, I regularly meet hugely talented people who struggle with entrepreneurship, career or life projects unnecessarily. Many times, the only thing standing in the way of success is information, exposure, and the willingness to accept new knowledge while ditching existing paradigms. They need access to the right information, some support and the humility to change. What complicates matters is that having access to the right information at the right time is not guaranteed. Sometimes it’s simply an act of God’s kindness. (There is such a thing as ignorant bliss!)
First Thing’s First, Google it!
We live in the era of Social Enlightenment where access to knowledge is at unprecedented levels. Therefore, one of the most important tools in any personal development quest is Google. Many solutions can literally be found at the click of a mouse. But, if you hate to read or sift through data, there’s not much Google can do for you. The magnitude of information on the web and the limited nature of time are such that the ability to separate relevant information from worthless junk is a key requirement for the effective use of Google. The world is very unforgiving to those who need to be spoon-fed.
Study Popular Culture
You must be aware of and in tune with popular culture if you plan to sell anything to this (or the next generation). While time-held principles remain relevant; their application, presentation and communication change from generation to generation. It will be difficult to successfully sell a product to an audience you do not understand or you have a high level of disdain for. They will sense your patronizing attitude. And, they hate hypocrisy.
To bring yourself up to speed on popular culture, I recommend the following: Use “generational communication tools”. There are cultural mindsets that you’ll never understand if you don’t chat, have a data-enabled phone and Facebook & Twitter accounts. Access to instantaneous and multiple streams of information is very much a hallmark of this generation.
Subscribe to relevant RSS feeds from informational websites. That way, 10 minutes after you long on to the internet, you’ll have read bite-size highlights of what’s going on in the world and in the sectors you’re most interested in.
To ensure proper online representation (especially if you’re a public figure or plan to be one), develop a combination of the following: A structured Linked In Page, Wikipedia Page, Blog, Website, Facebook Page and Twitter Page. When people meet you, they’re more than likely to Google you immediately after. When they do, the first page that comes up should be your “official” web presence not random chatter on Twitter! You may consider professional portraits for your online pages or something creative. But, please do not use a grainy passport photo!
Try to log into Social Networks e.g. Twitter at least once a day (preferably in the morning) to “listen” to generational chatter and to feel the pulse of the middle class. It’ll give you insight into what topics are hot as well as popular lingo. Also pay attention to media, in general. The media is the voice of this generation.
For music, online sites like Billboard.com and the iTunes Charts tell you what’s happening on the global scene, while Notjustok.com (and any number of other entertainment aggregators) curate Nigerian music. Listening to local radio stations keeps you up-to-date, particularly drive-time shows. Buying music on a regular basis helps you to assess shifts in musical styles, as generational tastes morph very quickly. A hot single may not give you the full experience; you’ve got to listen to the entire album. Finally, at least 1 hour of music videos on a contemporary music station once or twice a week should give you a good feel of visual pop culture. Try Soundcity, MTV Base or Trace Urban.
For all things youth, subscribe to magazines like Ynaija. (You may also browse the online version). To gain a “feel” for popular fashion, spend some time observing people at the Mall. Just visit every now and then; sit and watch young people pass by. You’ll learn a lot about this generation from the way they walk, gesture, talk and dress.
For more refined fashion tastes, you may subscribe to British GQ (Not the American edition), Vogue and Vanity Fair. Read the articles; don’t just look at the pretty pictures. I especially like the way foreign magazines imprint certain standards of quality in your subconscious. After a while, you instinctively develop an aversion to things that are tacky or razz.
For the business minded, Fast Company is a must-read. Few other magazines write about the business world in popular language or emphasise business innovation. Reading the Economist and Fortune regularly for at least a year will teach you the fine art of business communication and writing. They will help you to develop structured and logical presentation which are invaluable for business correspondence. They are tedious to read, but subconsciously develop your vocabulary.
I encourage you to also watch movies, preferably at the cinema. It’s a lifestyle, not a waste of money.
Travel as Much as You Are Able to
Whenever you can afford it, travel. I heartily recommend a visit to all the geopolitical zones in Nigeria. It will greatly broaden your understanding of your fellow citizens. A trip to the hinterland will transform your thinking about what it means to be a Nigerian. Traveling to exotic international locales is all well and good, however, if you’ve never ventured beyond our shores before, I recommend Ghana as your first stop and then perhaps the UK and US! Travelling to Yankee or Jand will hopefully cure you of the fear of visa applications and the excitement of “travelling abroad”. There’s something in Nigerians that idolizes travelling abroad. You might as well do it and get it over with.
Learning the basic protocols of travelling will come in handy for years to come. For example, the seemingly little things like buying a sim card at the airport; changing only a small amount of Forex there because you get better rates in town, dealing with immigration and requisite travel documentation, understanding a city’s transportation system and route maps, learning which cities allow you to drive with a Nigerian license, knowing how to open a non-resident bank account so you have a backup debit card to your Nigerian one, using travel sites like Trip Advisor to check hotel reviews etc.
One thing about travelling though – the cultural exposure matters, not just shopping. Sometimes, it pays to pre-book tours BEFORE you leave for your trip or else the slots may be filled for days by the time you get there. Do not depend on your host to show you around. Many residents have never taken a tour of the cities they live in. Almost every country or city has an official tour company, e.g. Arabian Adventures for Dubai. Ideally, your first 2 days should be dedicated to tours. On the first day, try a city bus tour or a walking tour. It’s best to go in a group, especially if you’re travelling alone. It’s a wonderful way to meet new people while minimizing the risks of exploring alone. Nowadays, you can do almost anything you want to in a foreign country via a tour. There are even pre-packaged tours for a night out on the town.
When you return, you’ll find you’ve gained a better understanding of and tolerance for human differences. Your heart and mind will expand. Don’t ask me how; they just do.
The Language of International Business
If you’re thinking of expanding your business globally and do not wish to retain the services of an interpreter, you may need to brush up on our lingua franca, English or a foreign language. Your proposals shouldn’t be liberally sprinkled with dangerous artillery.
There are many organisations and tools that can help you with spoken and written business communication. Use them.
First Impressions
If you are hopeless with fashion and you’ll like someone to help you to design your own personal style and look, kindly contact a personal shopper or lifestyle consultant. There are many affordable ones. You don’t even need a professional. You may have a colleague or sibling who loves to shop and has a great sense of taste. Give them your shopping money and a little extra to cover their transportation costs and they’ll gladly shop for you. Trust me, they know where all the bargains are.
Sometimes it helps if you go online to identify the kind of things you like to make their shopping easier or to familiarize yourself with what’s available. Everybody looks good in Nigerian fabric and nowadays you can make contemporary stuff that’s suitable for both formal and informal occasions. Clothing made from understated high quality fabric is acceptable at almost any formal event in Nigeria. Simply add a dash of personal style.
Guys, please learn how to knot a tie and open a bottle of wine. And learn how to drive competently. For some reason, women associate competent driving with competence in “certain other areas that will go unmentioned”. Ladies, do learn how to cook the major food groups . Even if you hate cooking, there’s no point to prove. It’s just nice to not look lost in a kitchen.
If you need help determining what hair style or cut suits you, go to any highly recommended salon or barber and ASK them to advise on what looks good on you. Please do not go on a weekend if you require personalized attention. It’s usually a mad rush. Women can learn how to apply makeup or buy appropriate skin care products from any notable makeup artist. (Basic tip – Avoid lining eyebrows or applying layers of foundation. They make women look angry. Also replace soap with a cream cleanser for your face).
Choose perfume or cologne that’s attractive to the opposite sex and not just one you personally like. Whenever a woman hugs a guy and unconsciously snuggles or goes, “you smell nice”, that’s his perfect scent. He should stick with it.
A manicure and pedicure never hurt anyone. And the spa’s perfect for those who don’t know how to destress and need it beaten out of them (a.k.a Massage).
Try having drinks in a hotel bar or if you can afford it, do dinner. It helps you “escape” Nigeria for a while. You’ll observe people from different countries and absorb interesting habits. Importantly, you’ll become familiar with formal place setting (the correct positioning of cutlery). Like we all learnt from the movie, Pretty Woman, when dining formally, you use your cutlery from the outside-in; beginning with those furthest away from your plate and working your way in from course to course (Appetizer to Dessert). Sometimes, the dessert spoon may be placed above the plate and your wine/juice glass is different from your water glass.
Eating Right and Exercising
If you can’t go to the gym religiously, check out online sites for simple exercise plans you can do at home and tips on what not to eat. The basic rules are drink at least a litre of water a day, eat fruits everyday, cut out starches and increase your lean protein intake. Stop skipping breakfast but keep it light (e.g. Cereal and fruit), exercise at least 30 minutes 3 times a week and oh…one more thing…everything that tastes good is bad for you.
Buying Gifts
If you’re terrible at picking gifts, let others do it for you. Or if you have a creative gift concept you’d like to bring to life, let others execute it for you. Try Konnektors as a starting point. Also, if you’re not sure about what to buy for someone, try talking to their sibling or someone who’s close to them to get the inside scoop on what they truly desire right now.
And of Course Sex Matters
If you missed your integrated science class in Form 1, you really need to begin with the book, Every Woman, just to know where all the equipment is and their functions. (I personally find it amusing when guys mix up ovulation and menstruation). There are many professionally written books about sex like The Magic of Sex by Mariam Stoppard. Popular fiction (novels) will provide an overview of popular sexual terminology - It helps to know what the popular names for fellatio or cunninlingus are.
Birth control or family planning options abound and speaking to a professional is advised. I suggest you personally Google and research everything you’re told by your Doctor, as many myths abound. Personally, birth control options that don’t mess with a woman’s hormones or those 5 glorious days of ovulation are preferred.
Coming Home
Home should be a haven and sanctuary. Simply put, you are affected by what you consistently surround yourself with and it’s hard to truly relax when you live in the midst of chaos. It’s better to leave a room bare than to stock it with junk. Serenity and comfort are hallmarks of a great home. Even if you live with others, your room or personal space should reflect the quality of your mind and soul. Your living space and the inside of your car send a strong signal about the level of disorder you’re willing to tolerate. Also, stop wearing rags at home. A mentor once told me to dress in such a way that when a visitor comes, you don’t have to change first before opening the door.
There are companies who’ll do affordable interior decorating consultations. Speak to one if you need to.
Catching up on all You’ve Missed
If you’d like to catch up on popular culture, try Time Magazine’s The All Time Best 100 (http://www.time.com/time/specials/2007/0,28757,1662224,00.html). There are many other online resources:
For movies: http://www.slashfilm.com/yahoos-100-movies-to-see-before-you-die/
For music: http://www.guardian.co.uk/news/datablog/2009/mar/20/1 (Click on the full list to view).
You can buy in stores or download at “you-know-where”.
For books: http://tinyurl.com/myreadinglist
If you read a new book every month or two, you’ll gradually become more knowledgeable and your worldview will expand.
For travel: http://www.tripadvisor.com/GoListDetail-i17106-100_places_to_see_before_I_die.html
Finally, who you know still matters
In business, who you know doesn’t necessarily determine your trajectory but it helps. People are comfortable doing business with people they know or have a trusted reference for. It impacts access, clout and influence. This is even more important in a business climate like Nigeria’s, where a lot of business is done informally.
You really don’t need to join a club to “belong”. There are several social, professional and business networks that will suffice. Try volunteering on the event organizing committee of a network like Wimbiz for example, or your school’s Old Boy’s/Girl’s Association. You’ll be amazed how many people will feel predisposed to listening to your business idea, when they’ve witnessed first-hand how committed and dedicated you are to a cause. And if you can’t serve on the committee, give something.
There are several entrepreneurial networks who meet regularly and have become a family of sorts.
If you’re an up and coming business person and you’re on the outside looking in, join a network fast and stop relying solely on “mentors” to help you.
Conclusion
It will be nice if people can share links and resources that may prove helpful to others. Feel free to post those links under comments.
Thank you for reading.
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