Mentoring & Other Matters

I've often wondered at the generic watered down construct we call mentoring, nowadays. Mentoring now runs the entire gamut of business leverage, networking, godfatherism, emotional support and even spiritual coaching. It’s gotten to the point where I’m not sure what I’m being asked to do when people ask me to “mentor them”.

To be fair, I’ve had two mentors who I recall poured their lives out, sacrificed immense time & effort and literally became surrogate dads to me. I enjoyed robust give & take relationships, not the one-sided cap-in-hand beggarly “mentorships” I see today. As a rule., I'm cautious of mentoring that's devoid of service & tutelage but big on what can be derived from the mentor with minimal effort. Then & now I understood mentoring was incomplete without tutelage & character moulding. At times generational friendships were formed in the process.

I surmise that everyone isn’t cut out to be a mentor while some quite frankly do not inspire a desire to be mentored. But, whichever kind of relationship you choose to forge with someone you look up to, simple rules should apply:

1. Give your would-be mentor a good reason to adopt you beyond the kowtowing & flattery

2. State what you've already done on your own, then ask for what you need to progress it in very clear terms. There are few things as wasteful as gaining an opportunity to make a request, only for it to be unintelligible & non-specific

3. Never show up late for a meeting with a mentor. It shows lack of good breeding and organisational ability

4. Never allow a mentor pay for a business lunch. It is a sign of a greedy spirit and ungrateful soul

5. Schedule your requests to your mentor in such a way that you don't transfer your time pressure. He/she has competing priorities

6. Never undervalue your mentor's intellectual contributions. Clarity, wisdom & advice are priceless

7. Your mentor trades in knowledge. That's how he/she got to where he/she is. Value it; whether it's an email or conversation

8. It may look easy; may seem there's a lot more from where his/her contributions came from; but it takes A LOT for it to appear that way

9. When you ask for a favour, consider why your mentor should grant it. Having more than enough, familiarity or charity are not valid answers

10. Give your mentor a good reason to back you because when a mentor does a favour for a flimsy reason, you use up valuable equity that could’ve been used for a more important future request

11. Don't be the person who only calls when you need something. That's why your mentor avoids you

12. Stop hounding and harassing your mentor with every problem. Grow up. He/she is not a saviour

13. Appreciate your mentor (and his/her family). Don't assume they have it all. Be generous. Support their projects too

14. Mentors think in big pictures. Don't expect them to advise on the minutiae of execution too!

15. In times of trouble, mentors need loyalty. Even if you don't approve of their actions, the least you can do is to not take sides against them in public. Be loyal

Do all these things and you should hopefully be worthy of great mentoring. I wish you success.

Thoughts from The Future Project Symposium for Emerging Leaders

My generation does not require perfect leaders. I would not trust a perfect leader. Rather, I respect a leader who has publicly fallen and risen again.

The job of rebuilding Nigeria will be a collaborative one. We cannot do it alone. If we choose to tear each other down, who'll be left to work with?

We need to get off our high horses to mend the broken fences that have led to distrust in our generation. We need to thrash out every issue and then move on. We need each other.

We need to stop subbing and directing articles, tweets and posts at each other. Let's pick up the phone instead; meet; confront each other directly and have real conversations. And yes, we do owe each other explanations. The work of rebuilding Nigeria has no room for pride.

We will achieve very little divided. Being "at the grassroots" doesn't make you any more relevant than the elite or intelligentsia. It's not a competition. You are not more patriotic, more knowledgeable or more involved. We need to stop talking down to each other. We no longer have conversations; we have condescension. We behave as if we have a sovereign right to be listened to. Track record does not automatically translate into credibility or leadership. You have to earn it and convince people to follow.

We must learn from every side but not be seduced by unsavoury values. A little knowledge is a very dangerous thing. Without knowledge of every side & a willingness to listen, our generation will remain ignorant indeed.

There is no prescribed level of knowledge that is required to be politically relevant. Someone may know who his/her Local Government Chairman is, another may have read the Constitution and so on. However, what we do have in common is the personal experience of having lived through Nigeria's issues and challenges. Let's bring it ALL to the table: knowledge and ignorance.

Before you criticise a leader, consider if you can do the volume of work they do or even do it better. Your past record will provide an inkling. Criticism is invaluable but we must move beyond talk. Our generation must show how things should be done.

Finally, hope is a powerful thing indeed. We may be dreamers but we're not the ONLY ones.

Passion, the Heart of Projects

You may have been here before. The point where your passion for a project sputters to a slow but sure death.  You began in high spirits. Perhaps the idea was groundbreaking or it offered a chance to learn something new or develop yourself. So you gained early traction; achieved quick wins and everyone was pleased. You felt a rush of achievement and satisfaction. New iterations surged through your brain. Horizons expanded and you thought “Yes, we can do much more! We can grow bigger; break new ground".

All of a sudden, you realise to your absolute amazement that you seem to be the only one left on your team with the same level of enthusiasm. Once active team mates have melted into the background of unavailability. Project sponsors have moved on to the next new thing. Resources have been rationalised and slowly your passion ebbs away with each new day. 

If you’ve ever experienced this, I have a few lessons for you. They may not resuscitate your project but they’ll help you manage the next one better; help you believe again.

First, never become emotionally over-invested in a project. It’s about the cause, not your effort or your personal feelings. As a project manager, you must imagine yourself as a tool. You're only as important as the relative importance of the project to the organisation that owns it. Therefore, don’t get too comfortable or take things personal. Your primary purpose is to execute defined objectives. When those objectives change, move on to  secondary objectives.

Your secondary objectives on any project are to gain experience, learn something new and meet great people. These will prove useful in future. Everything you invest in a project is valuable experience. As a project manager, you stand a lot to gain from every project. When organisational priorities change, don't insist on keeping your project in its exact form. Be flexible. Understand the new strategic goals and adjust accordingly. No project deliverable is sacrosanct. Remember, your project is only as relevant as the evolving strategy of the organisation.

Maintain an active relationship with your project sponsor. Gain feedback from key stakeholders. They’ll let you know what’s really going on. Don’t carry the burden of slacking team mates. If there’s no capacity to execute the project, admit it early on and inform the project sponsor. Remember the golden rule of projects: A project is only as valuable to an organisation as the amount of resources dedicated to it. Also identify a confidential sounding board; someone to help you vent or rant. Trust me, you’ll feel better afterwards.

Document everything – Successes, failures, why the project stalled, recommendations etc. And if your project consistently lacks organisational support, minimise the resources and effort attached to it until it becomes a priority again. Avoid waste. Don’t outrun the organisation's appetite for execution. Match your effort and ideas to what the organisation has the capacity or vision to absorb, understand and execute. To test the organisation's commitment to a project, set clear conditions & dependencies. If the conditions are not met, you have your answer. Sometimes your organisation may require external validation before they fully commit to a project. Be patient.

Termination is the last resort when it has been clearly communicated to you that a project is no longer priority.  If you insist on seeing the project through, rekindle your passion by remembering that the project is about a bigger or long-term cause that goes beyond immediate imperatives. Think about the potential success and your role in it. Imagine your contributions to laying a strong foundation and be content.

I hope this has been useful. I'd like to know what challenges you're currently facing on your project. Are you losing your passion? Why? Please share with me on Twitter @subomiplumptre.

Thank you.