98% FAILURE IS UNACCEPTABLE - A ROADMAP FOR EDUCATION BY THE YOUTH OF NIGERIA

BACKGROUND

There is almost no way of exaggerating the statistics or the conclusion: Nigeria’s education system has all but collapsed. The fact that schools no longer have faith in the results of the Joint Admissions and Matriculations Board (JAMB) examinations and need to organise post-UME examinations is one pointer. Another is the fact that employers have had to extend training periods after employment before new staff can be deployed.

But, nothing underscores the issue more than the secondary school examinations result released by the two exam bodies in Nigeria. The West African Examinations Council (WAEC) 2009 results, according to Waecdirect.com, show an overall poor performance with only 26% percent obtaining a credit pass in Mathematics and English. In the same vein, the National Examinations Council (NECO) November/December 2009 results show 98% failing to clinch five credits, including English and Mathematics. Only 1.8% got five credits, including English and Mathematics. It was the poorest result in the history of the examination body.

At primary school level, things are not much better. In an international study reported by the World Bank in which learning achievements in 22 countries in sub‐Saharan and North Africa are compared, the learning achievements of students in Nigeria’s primary schools were the lowest with national mean scores of 30% compared with 70% in Tunisia and 51% in Mali.

THE PROBLEM

There are a series of factors that have led to this point. This is an example of a near-perfect storm of negative factors combining in a synchronous yet disastrous harmony. To this extent, most of the angst expressed recently about the latest results may be misplaced. Emotions do not solve problems. We failed to invest in Education and so we reaped the results.

For a long time now, the standards of education in Nigeria have been in free fall due to the following well known reasons:

Financial mismanagement, corruption and bureaucratic complexity. The problems here include corruption amongst education and government officials, such that allocated monies are not received or utilised effectively. While some may argue that the budget allocation is too little, however, virtually no country in sub- Saharan Africa has the volume of funds that Nigeria can afford to allocate to education. Yet other countries do much better in terms of education quality (as can be seen from the primary school results in the World Bank study).

There is also the issue of how education is treated in the constitution. Education is on the concurrent list and the funding structure is opaque and very complex. There are too many agencies and too much replication. This fuels corruption and huge bureaucracy that prevents funds from reaching where it matters most - the classroom. Therefore, there is a need to address governance and legislation.

Many parents do not see the relevance of education as it is taught in Nigeria today. The curriculum is deemed outdated and out-of-touch with 21st century skills and realities. There is also the issue of enrolment. In many Nigerian states, enrolments have fallen. According to the Federal Ministry of Education, Nigeria has 7 million school aged children that are not in school. This is the highest in the world! Cultural norms & traditions contribute to the low enrolment figures.

The quality of teachers and teaching is abysmal. Unmotivated teachers, poor quality of teaching and low learning outcomes are rife across all levels of education According to the Kwara State Commissioner for Education, an aptitude and capacity test was organised for a total of 19,125 teachers in the State's public school system in 2008. Out of these, 2,628 were university graduates. The teachers were given tests that were designed originally for primary four pupils in English and Mathematics. At the end of the exercise, only seven teachers out of the 19,125 crossed the minimum aptitude and capacity threshold. Only one out of the 2,628 graduate teachers passed the test, 10 graduates scored outright zero. The teachers fared worse in literacy assessments which recorded only 1.2% pass rate.

Infrastructure and low capacity are also issues. Pictures of primary school pupils taking their lessons under trees while sitting on the floor, or huddled under leaking classroom roofs, have become all too common. But infrastructure is not the primary issue facing the education sector (as our forefathers who studied under worse conditions can attest to). In truth, the quality of instruction is even more of an issue.

Warped values have introduced corruption to the classroom. Learning is no longer of prime importance to students. Inordinate focus on riches and short-cuts seems to be. There is an increase in exam malpractice and lecturer abuse.

Policy flip flops are the order of the day. The influence of politics and policy instability has been damaging to education. The head of a parastatal recently expressed deep frustration in “working with eleven Ministers and 14 Permanent Secretaries in the past eleven years”!

THE OUTCOME

According to a previous Central Bank Governor, “71 per cent of Nigerian graduates like bad cherries won’t be picked by any employer of labour because they are not fit for anything even if they were the only ones that put themselves forward for an employment test”. The next generation is largely illiterate. Where are the leaders, managers, engineers, doctors, craftsmen and artisans of the future? Who is going to be working when this generation is old?

Concrete efforts and solutions are required. It is not simply a matter of giving multi-million Naira contracts for providing furniture, a perfunctory increase in budget, education summits without new ideas and formats, or superficial competitions. There has to be a comprehensive strategy that engages the problem from its many different angles and the strategy has to be sustained. Above all else, it has to be outcome-oriented. Below are some solutions to address this state of emergency in education.

THE SOLUTION

The Role of Teachers and Teaching

Teachers are at the heart of education. The most important interaction in any educational system is what goes on in the classroom between the teacher and the child. Therefore, any solution must support this interaction. The Mckinsey & Co. 2007 Report on The World’s Best Performing School Systems highlights only 3 key solutions that can drastically improve a country’s educational system. 2 of those solutions focus on Teachers:


a. We must get the right people to become Teachers; recruiting from the highest percentile. (An educational system cannot rise above the level of its teachers). Teachers must also possess motivational and communication skills.

b. We must continuously develop Teachers to become effective instructors through rigorous professional development.

c. We must put in place mechanisms to ensure that schools deliver high quality instruction to every child/student. (The system must be held accountable and rigorously tested and measured).

Therefore, our solutions must focus primarily on Teaching and Accountability.

A credible living wage must be instituted for teachers. Teachers should earn enough to live on and should be paid on time. The States must be held accountable for this.

Ongoing teacher training must be institutionalised. For instance, The Teachers Registration Council of Nigeria may be restructured into an institute capable of re-training and administering accreditation examinations [much like the Institute of Chartered Accountants of Nigeria (ICAN)]. All teachers in Nigeria must go through thorough training and examinations every year to be re-accredited as teachers.

An emergency plan must be put into place to attract volunteer teachers and retain existing ones. A Teachers Volunteer Programme must be set up to attract individuals who wish to give up a few months to go into schools to teach. A fund should be set up to defray the administrative expenses. The NYSC should be repurposed for 3-5 years to focus on education. Corpers should sign up to teach and the 3-week orientation should no longer be used for frog jumps and endurance treks; instead, corpers should be taken through a teacher training module on volunteer teaching. A competition should be held to identify teachers who are well regarded and voted effective by students in public secondary schools. These teachers should become national role models, be co-opted to train other teachers (in a restructured Teachers Registration Council of Nigeria) and should be rewarded. A national award should be given to volunteer teachers who sign up for an appreciable amount of time as well as existing role model teachers. The award should be endorsed by and should include dinner with the President.

Financial mismanagement in education must be stopped. The States are responsible for funding basic and secondary education as well as their state owned tertiary institutions. They receive funding from the Federal Government as well as internally generated funds. A system must be put in place to ensure that the monies generated go towards school infrastructure and teachers’ pay. Therefore, there should be an independent poll on teachers’ pay and the production of photographic evidence of school infrastructure in each state on an annual basis. The Federal Ministry’s Operation Reach All Secondary Schools (ORASS) was a good initiative in this area. It should be continued and extended to primary and tertiary institutions. Funding policy must also be streamlined.

A League Table of exam success rates in WAEC & NECO should be published annually. The Table should show the results for each State AND each school (public & private). In doing so, the public will be informed of how each school is faring and whether public taxes are simply going down the drain or being effective. This serves the twin purpose of transparency and keeping these schools and their authorities on their toes. The League Table should show how much each State receives from the Federal Government vis-a-vis the number of students they cater to and the students’ success rate. That way, Nigerians will know the spend-per-child and how effective the spend-per-child is. The table may be published in conjunction with WAEC, NECO and an independent Actuarial Firm.

Schools must be held accountable for students’ results. In the 1950s, Nobel Prize winning economist Milton Friedman argued for the introduction of a “school voucher system”, stating that competition would improve schools and cost efficiency. While we are not sure Nigeria is ready for a voucher system, we do advocate for schools to be subjected to competitive pressure. The government may release a base sum to schools (to take care of basic administrative expenses), however, the rest of the money should be released on a “per-child” basis. Parents should be free to choose a desired school based on the school’s performance on the published “League Table”. Schools will then receive the bulk of their funding from the government based on the number of students that willingly enroll in the schools. Parents may also be given a tax credit if they choose to send their kids to public primary or secondary schools. In 5 years, non-performing/non-competitive schools on the League Table should be penalised.
Schools must also be properly licensed and monitored to ensure high standards. Monitoring must be above-board, independent, thorough and devoid of corrupt practices.

Education should be made an election issue & priority for the next administration. The electorate should reject any candidate (or political party) who does not make education a critical part of his/her manifesto. Education must be brought to the forefront of any electoral debate.

Complementary institutions to Universities must be promoted to meet the excess demand for tertiary education. In 2004, it was reported that Nigerian Universities could only cater to 15% of those who applied. Today, it is reported that Nigeria’s public Universities can cater to 65% of applicants, notwithstanding that in some cases a class designed for 40 students accommodates 400. In view of this low carrying capacity, we advocate that the Vocational Enterprise Institutes (VEIs) & Innovative Enterprise Institutes (IEIs) initiatives as set up by the Federal Ministry of Education should be promoted as credible alternatives to Universities. VEIs and IEIs provide certificates in specialised vocational and technical fields. Champions must be identified and promoted to raise the interest in and brand profile of these certificates, thereby driving up enrolment. Examples of potential champions include Downtown Beauty Academy (an existing VEI) and the accreditation of the Lady Mechanic Workshop as an IEI.

We do acknowledge that many credible solutions have already been prescribed for the educational sector. We respect the efforts of those who have gone before us. However, we must question why the solutions are not being implemented or proving effective. Questions raise solutions.

IMPLEMENTATION STEPS

In order to deliver on the solutions presented, there is a need to inform and then engage the citizenry. We must move beyond just talking about the solutions to becoming a part of it. Below are some preliminary implementation steps for citizen engagement, which we hope to champion in the weeks to come.

Step 1: Concise information on the State of Education in Nigeria must be made available. A concept paper on the state of primary and secondary school education in Nigeria must be produced, accompanied by statistics from WAEC and NECO, where available. This information should be published in the form of a League Table of the exam failure rates in each state of the federation. This is because, while there is an assumption that, nationally, everyone is aware of this problem, the depth of the decay needs to be highlighted and brought to the attention of the Nigerian public at large. Also, it is important for Nigerians to be well informed about the issues, with the correct data and perspective. The paper (and accompanying statistics) should be published as editorials in the newspapers and downloadable from the web. It should also be circulated as emails/letters to anyone who expresses concern about the state of education in Nigeria. The articles and letters will serve as an invitation to concerned Nigerians who wish to support an education intervention with their intellect and resources.

Step 2: Town Hall Meetings should be held to harvest contributions and feedback. Two weeks after the paper has been circulated, meetings should be held with persons who respond, to harness initial input and contributions and to also chart the way forward in concrete terms. We also recommend telephone conferences for Nigerians in Diaspora. Key outputs from the deliberations should be:

• Organisations or individuals who will volunteer credible implementation platforms to intervene in education.

• Organisations or individuals who will champion a proposed Technical Volunteer Corps (TVC). The Technical Volunteer Corps (TVC) is made up of individuals with deep experience in and passion for education. They include (past and present) government officials, private sector practitioners and international consultants who have experience in transforming education in countries.

• Media partners who will dedicate their voice and media spaces to bring education issues to the fore.

Step 3: A series of Youth Fora should be held in each state of Nigeria. The reason a forum is to be held in each state is that, although the Federal Government formulates and regulates education policy, the States and Local Governments control and are directly responsible for Public Primary and Secondary Schools. Hence they are accountable for the deplorable nature of education in Nigeria. This fact must be brought to the fore in all communication materials. The fora should begin in the state with the highest failure rate to underscore the critical importance of the initiative. The meetings should be supported by ongoing calls for ideas from youth across the nation which may be sent in by email and SMS. Members of the Technical Volunteer Corps will be asked to moderate the fora and streamline ideas into a coherent document. The fora should be aired live on TV, radio and the internet by media partners.

Step 4: A solutions document on Education must be produced with input and wide support from the Youth. From the solutions garnered during the fora, a symbolic solutions document should be produced and presented to all State Ministries of Education and the Federal Ministry of Education (The Minister). The document will contain no more than 5-10 major solutions. It should not be a dense soporific document that will be shelved. Rather, it should have both long term solutions as well as quick wins that can be implemented within a year. It must also be accessible by all stakeholders in education. Any plan to fix education that does not take into account the views of the youth should be rejected, as education directly concerns them. The document must be on the agenda of the next National Council on Education and each State Ministry should be pressured to execute at least one or two of the solutions in the next 6 months.

Step 5: Hands-on support by the Technical Volunteer Corps must be provided to the Federal and State Ministries of Education. The Technical Volunteer Corps should offer their services to implement the education solutions proffered. A fund should be set up to take care of the administrative expenses. The idea is to not just proffer solutions, but to help implement them.

Step 6: Results must be well documented and the Ministry held accountable. In 6 months, a report should be produced of what has been accomplished by the Federal and State Ministries of Education.

These are ideas and solutions for education in Nigeria. We call on Nigerians to lend their voice and support to implement them.

ABOUT THE AUTHORS

This document is the combined effort of Nigerian youths and senior professionals working in various sectors of the Nigerian economy. We care about education, and believe that, beyond consternation and display of outrage, it is important for those who have the means, skill and resources, to work with the authorities to revive and/or improve our education system.

Contributors: Nigeria Leadership Initiative, Do More for Nigeria, The Future Project, Paradigm Initiative Nigeria

If you wish to participate in the ongoing discussion on education or contribute to the solution in any way, kindly email, SMS or call: info@thefuturenigeria.com, 07034904820, 07028101959, 08022226712

Data Sources: Federal Ministry of Education, Nigeria; National Universities Commission; McKinsey & Co. Report on Best Performing School Systems, THISDAY, Nigerian Muse

Thoughts in June (1)

Do not come too close to the people you admire; you will find that they are all too human and less than admirable - especially young entertainment personalities. (Don't mind me, just reacting to the people i've met lately)

It isn't that God is not in the business of the extraordinary - he can only only make dreams come true through people. Unfortunately there aren't that many people who are interested in making other people's dreams come true. Hence, God is left with "managing" those he can find, as best as he can.

No matter how logical you are, without grace and wisdom, someday you will be confronted with a situation where you willingly throw logic outta window & start on a path of destruction. The sad thing is you won't even be aware of it, you'll think you're doing the right thing and only those observing you can tell. Listen to them or you'll be destroyed. Constantly take stock of your life and allow people to regularly be your mirror. Ask them what they think of you and what you can do better.

Things/people/relationships require attention or else they'll show signs of neglect and eventually break down. Excellence requires constant supervision and attention to detail. You must be ever vigilant, constantly improving, ever perfecting.

Brazil Trip (2)

The Rio Carnaval is truly amazing! It’s worth every expensive Real and is an experience of a lifetime. The Carnaval takes place over a period of a week with street parades and grand performances at the Sambadrome (like the Tafewa Balewa Square in Lagos). 12 groups (called schools, though they are not academic schools) compete over 2 days (6 schools on Saturday and 6 schools on Sunday), and then the champions from each day do a Champions Parade the weekend after that. The best time to go is the 2nd day of the first round (on Sunday), where the best schools perform. You can buy tickets online or through your hotel or licensed tour company. There are tickets for numbered seats or you can decide to sit in the bleachers and arrive early to get a good seat. Being a cheapskate, I chose to buy the bleachers ticket but my hosts chose a great area – Sector 5 with a great view.

The show begins at 8.30pm. I arrived about 7pm, got a good seat and settled in. The entrance is quite organised and the officials are efficient. There’s little rush. You simply look for the entrance to your sector and hand over your ticket to be swiped. There are also corporate box seats (with accompanying bars) for sponsors and their guests. As you can imagine, they are in prime positions where you can see and be seen (and envied).


Each school has 80minutes to perform, and the performances include accompanying live music, grand costumed parades, drummers and very ELABORATE floats. One thing I noted was that perhaps instead of singing one song from the beginning of each performance to the end, the schools could have varied it a bit. But I guess they rehearse and time their performance to such exactitude that it may help to use just one song. Each school has about 8 groups in its routine and sometimes a school may have as many as 6,000 participants! They try to tell stories so the performances are a blend of march past, dance and dance drama. Different cultures are expressed during performances. I could readily identify the following: African, Amazonian, Asian, Spanish, Japanese, Indian, Dutch, German, Islamic, Jewish, Oriental...you name it.

I must say that the story about topless women at the Carnaval is overrated. I did spy a boob or two but they were largely costumed and were in no way sensual or garish. They were more cultural and part of the overall costume or tribal dress being portrayed. Brazil is not a very sexual culture. From what I’ve seen, the daily skimpy dressing is matter-of-fact because of the heat and beach culture and it has lost whatever sexual appeal it may have once held. Bum shorts and tank tops aren’t immodest, they’re essential if you don’t want to die of heat stroke. It’s amazing that Brazilians walk their dogs (mostly cute little things) in the heat of the late morning or early afternoon.

I was able to visit two of the main beaches in Rio – Copacabana and Ipanema. Ipanema is smaller, more popular and hence crowded. I preferred Copacobana. You can get to either beach by tube or bus. If you can, avoid the tube...it’s filled with half naked bodies pressed together in a not-so-nice way. And anyway on the bus, you can take in the sights along the way. When going to the beach simply wear a bikini, if you’re a girl, with a wrap or light dress. You really don’t need to take anything along as you can rent a folding chair and umbrella when you get there. But on a truly hot day when there are bound to be many tourists, you may bring your own. Avoid carrying a camera or bag unless you’re in a group and someone will be watching your stuff at all times. All you really need is a bit of money stuck in a waterproof arm band/wallet.

Everyone wears a bikini (could be a thong or shorts); you’ll rarely see a one-piece. No one goes topless – that’s for the French:) Anyway, Rio is more of a ladies’ market. The women are not very well endowed, but the men look gorgeous. Sisquo would be right at home here as there are some nice ebony skinned brothers with hair dyed blond and incredible tattoos. Apparently, if you wish to see Giselle types, you have to go to another city in Brazil entirely. And the sand is scorching hot! You can’t walk on it barefoot, but the water is quite cold, almost freezing in contrast to the sand. The bus stops/metro are a block away from the beach. Simply follow the crowd till you see the water. If you choose a hotel by the beach, ask for a room on the upper floors facing the beach. The views are incredible. That’s one thing about Rio, the spectacular views. You can see The Christ or Sugarloaf Mountain from just about anywhere. Just look up and about.

When I got to the beach I was struck by the wonder of a black Nigerian executive standing in the middle of a crowded beach in a foreign land. And I was grateful for the privilege.

For shopping, the RioSul is good or try the Praie De Botafogo. Both have cinemas and as a bonus there’s an additional cinema just down the road from the Praie De Botafogo called the Arteplex. At the Arteplex, you’re guaranteed to find movies in English. Brazilian food is quite aromatic. I didn’t try many dishes because I couldn’t understand what was written in Portuguese, but just like Nigerian food has a distinctive smell of Maggi, and Indian, curry, Brazilian food has its own distinctive smell. Unfortunately I didn’t ask what the primary spice was.

More on the language challenges: Brazil is set to host the FIFA World Cup in 2014 and the Olympics in 2016. I imagine that they will need an English language intervention, much like China required one just before the Beijing Olympics. The language barrier is really significant unless you speak Portuguese or Spanish. This was confusing to me, as you cannot be a truly world class tourist location without making an accommodation for English speaking tourists. Malaysia and the UAE (Dubai) understand this and in Malaysia for instance, the street signs are in 3 languages: Malay, Hindi and ENGLISH. In Brazil, I wouldn’t eat in some street-side cafes because I couldn’t decipher the menus. In the more upscale cafes or restaurants, you can ask for an English menu. Many of them have one. If you happen to make friends with other tourists for whom English is not a first language, remember to speak proper textbook English. Idiomatic expressions and slang go over their heads.

Tourism is a significant business proposition and there is money to be made in providing advice to English speaking tourists who wish to travel to exotic locales. This space isn’t being properly filled and right now the major resource for this category of travellers is guide books. Lonely Planet makes some of the best, but a book is simply not as interactive or as helpful as a human being.

If you’re visiting a country for the first time and you can afford to spend a bit of time, I advise that you visit 2 or more cities within the country, so you get a full sense of the country and what it has to offer. For example, were a tourist to visit Nigeria, I would advise that they visit during a major festival say the Argungu Fishing Festival or the Kano Durbar. Their itinerary should begin in Lagos where they should take in both the Mainland & Island, proceed to Cross Rivers (Calabar) to visit Tinapa and Obudu Cattle Ranch, then take a side trip to Abuja before proceeding on to Sokoto or Kano for the festival of their choice. To really experience the culture and joy of a city, a festival is a great (though very expensive) time to visit. All you really need to turn a city into a tourist location is a very distinctive festival that takes place at a definite time every year. But the city must have 3 structures: a good, trustworthy English speaking tourist agency (like Arabian Adventures in Dubai), good transportation and good hotels.

I have one more Brazil Note to post, but I’ll leave you with this for now.

My strongest impression of Brazil thus far is that no matter the colour of your skin, your body shape or size, you can enjoy being who you are. In Brazil, the people speak freely about what they call "the mix". The country is a melting pot of so many nationalities, religions and cultures. A typical Brazilian is actually a mix of 2 or more nationalities. They are the most accommodating, unselfconscious people i know.

At this insanely hot time of the year, the fashion for ladies is to wear a bikini top and a loose fitting blouse fastened by a single button at the back of the neck, leaving the back bare. This is paired with bum shorts and flip flops. For guys, beach shorts and no shirt. A t-shirt may be tucked in the back of your shorts for when you need to walk into an establishment that requires a shirt. And a gorgeous tatoo on one bicep is quite common, or for ladies on an ankle. Everyone looks like they're just returning from the beach (which they probably are) and i mean everyone: young, old, fat, slim, foreign or local.

But before i describe my time in the city of Rio, how exactly did i get here?

Well, a couple of years ago i decided to visit one or two new countries every year, starting with a country on each continent. I had visited Europe, N.America and Asia, so this year it was either Australia or S.America. I chose S.America and eventually Brazil, primarily because Carnaval was coming up and they had an embassy in Nigeria. Applying for the visa was pretty straightforward - they require the same documents as every other embassy in Nigeria. Getting the visa was another matter entirely. Apparently it has to be approved in Brazil first before it's issued in Nigeria. This took 6 weeks! I finally got my passport back with the visa and the next step was to decide how to get there.

My travel agent suggested Iberia Airlines (via Madrid) and so began another application, this time for a transit visa. I applied and 4 days later my application was denied with an accompanying letter in Spanish! Needless to say, i was quite pissed as i had applied for a visa to pass through the airport not go into the country. I promptly attributed it to the Mutallab Syndrome and proceeded to apply for a renewal for my US Visa, with a view to transiting through the US. After standing in line at an ungodly hour in the morning and producing much stomach acid due to nervousness, i heard the magic words: "Your visa will be issued. Pick up your passport in 2 days", at which point i muttered: "Up yours, Spanish Embassy"!

2 days later i ate humble pie after realising it would cost me twice as much to go through the US. I reapplied to the Spanish Embassy with a ton of documentation (The letter in Spanish mentioned "incomplete documentation"). My transit visa was issued 4 days later, just 1 working day before my trip (I had already bought the ticket as it was required for my visa application). Phew!

Meanwhile, booking a hotel was another drama entirely! During Carnaval, all hotels must be pre-booked, the amount is deducted immediately from your credit card and there are no refunds. Making inquiries is a nightmare if you don't speak Portuguese! I finally found a quaint B & B through Trip Advisor where the owner spoke English and was a licensed tour guide so he would assist me during my stay and buy me tickets in advance to see the grand parade at the Sambadrome. But, the B&B didn't accept credit cards and insisted on payment through Paypal. Now as we all know, Paypal doesn't allow payments from Nigeria, so i had to call a friend in the US to make the payment for me. By this time, as you can imagine i had a persistent headache.

Finally, my hotel was booked, my visas were in place and i left for the airport. Now, i don't know how to say this delicately so i'll just say it. Unless it's an emergency or as in my case you're a cheapskate, please DO NOT fly Iberia! I don't know if it was a coincidence but that night it seemed like a good chunk of my fellow passengers looked like pimps, hos and drug pushers. Nigerian home videos were being repacked cause someone's hand luggage was overweight. Someone kept swearing at the ground crew, F...ing this and F...ing that. Someone else unwrapped Suya during the flight...and the onboard service can't really be described as service.

Anyway, we finally got to Madrid where i had a 7 hr layover. I now understand how Mutallab got past security. You see when you get into a country at an ungodly hour of the morning, there are only 2 or 3 passport control guys and they are so sleepy, they barely glance at your passport. Also none of your hand luggage (or your person) is scanned before you board your connecting flight, so you can pick a "package" up from duty free and no one would know.

The flight to Rio was 10 hrs long. I met up with Richard at the airport, one of the hosts at the B&B where i would be staying and we were off to Botafogo, a charming beach side town in Rio that's supposed to be one of the safest. The house is way up a hill and we kept going up a winding road made of cobblestones.

The next morning i ventured off to explore the city with directions from Rob (another host). To get to the bus-stop, i had to climb down the hill via 2 flights of dangerous looking stairs. Once or twice i got lost and that's when i discovered the language barrier. Very few people speak a smattering of English so communication is primarily via sign language and key words. But the people are friendly and someone actually went out of her way to walk me to the bus-stop to get the right bus to my destination. The best way to get around is by bus. The buses have screens below the windshield that tell you their destinations and when you get in you hand the money over and tell the conductor exactly where you're going. You sit in front and gesture that he should tell you when the bus gets to your stop as there are no announcements or screens inside the bus. A word though - the drivers are worse than Molue drivers so hang on very tight!

A security warning: Many places are safe in Rio, but if your traveling alone you're advised not to carry a bag or sling a camera over your shoulder, especially at night, as muggings do sometimes happen. However, the major tourist spots are safe as they require an admission fee and are populated by mainly foreigners. I've wondered why tourist attractions always look better in pictures and on TV than in real life. Maybe it's because one's expectations are so high. The Christ Statue, The Botanical Gardens and Sugarloaf Mountain are must-sees and can be taken in, in a day in that order. At the major attractions, i noticed that the Asians always have the most sophisticated cameras:)

The botanical gardens have an overarching aura of peacefulness and contemplation. It reminded me that sometimes it's fun to travel with someone. It's the kind of place that lovers go to, to have quiet conversations and plan their future.

In all my trips, i've found that the best way to get a feel of a city (particularly if you're traveling alone) is to book a half or full day city tour for the day after you arrive (if you arrive late, that is, as most tours begin in the morning). Search for a reputable tour company online (although sometimes your hotel may be able to suggest one). Select one where you go with other people as that way you also meet new people who are tourists. After you've done the city tour, you'll get a sense of the city and the tour guide can either recommend other activities or you can strike off on your own. You'd be amazed the tour packages you can find online including outdoor activities like rock climbing and snorkeling or parties and club jaunts.

For shopping, the Law of Shopping Malls prevails: Things get cheaper the higher up the floors you go:) On an interesting note i found that when you're served beer at the street-side cafes, the bottle is placed in an ice cooler, like champagne:)

I'll be attending the main Carnaval Parade tonight at the Sambadrome. Will post pictures when i return. Bye for now.

This is not poetry

I wish you would love me for my intensity
I wish you would love me for the heart & soul of me

I wish you would love my mind
And not think me too intelligent or unkind

I wish you would love my naivete
My idealism & dreams

I wish you would love the bitch in me
The side of me that likes to be naughty

I wish you would love my efficiency
And my slight affliction of OCD

I wish you would love me older & wiser
I wish you would love me prouder & bolder

I wish you would love my music & words
I wish you would love my Father & God

I wish you would love talking with me
Travelling & reading with me

I wish you would love teaching me
I wish you would love making love to me

I wish you would love our life together
My quaint sense of forever

I simply wish you would love me
But first I guess you must find me...


"Dedicated to the one I yearn to love with all my heart"

Download my published book, No Bullshit Vol. 1

To commemorate my birthday, i am making NO BULLSHIT Vol. 1 available for viewing and download at www.nobullshitsite.com. Kindly circulate the link to spread the word. Also, i would like your feedback, which you can give on the Facebook group page for No Bullshit. Thanks.

On Friendship

This note began as an innocuous status update on Facebook, which I shall paraphrase here: “Adesubomi Plumptre is thinking that we do not appreciate friendship and its life changing impact enough. In the next few weeks I will be writing notes to my friends describing what I absolutely love about them and what they mean to me”.

My status update has got me thinking about the true value of friends.

There are friends we get along superbly with; people we’re completely comfortable with and can say just about anything to; friends who make us laugh At some point in your life, you may have had one or two and they have enriched your life greatly.

A rarer kind of friend is the one that inspires you; always speaks the truth and provides a mirror that challenges you to be better than you are. They help you grow; are a font of wisdom and teach you something new anytime you’re with them. In your quiet moments, you acknowledge that your life has been changed because of something they said or did. You know you’ll never be the same because you met them. In some measure, you became who you are today because of them.

These are the friends you should especially hold on to, for dear life. They are precious beyond measure. Just like sexual attraction, if a friendship isn’t fed, the bonds weaken and the individuals eventually drift apart. Friendship demands a definite rhythm and schedule.

I have found a parallel in my relationship with God. Anytime I set out a specific day or time to talk to him, after a couple of weeks, I find that he’s there waiting for me. It’s almost like he’s excited that I came when I said I would. Friendships are like that. We unconsciously reserve a space in our lives, hearts and schedules for those who strike a definite friendship rhythm with us.

For some, it’s football matches on Saturdays, for others it’s drinks every Thursday. For others, it’s a once-in-a month lunch or a once-in-a year reunion. Whatever it is, regularity and consistency help you maintain the bonds of friendship. And it takes effort to maintain that rhythm, for we are all ostensibly busy.

I have heard it said that some friendships are meant to fulfill a specific purpose in your life, after which they fade away. Perhaps. But don’t be so quick to throw away your friendships. I know your heart can only hold so many people, but still maintain cordial relationships. I am learning this. I never used to be the acquaintance type. You were either a friend or not. I am changing. I am learning to celebrate friends, to give gifts to them, to go out of my way to make them happy, make them laugh or feel loved. I plan to begin with those notes I promised in my status update.

Explorations of a Horny State of Mind: PART TWO

I am ovulating. This means that my horny state of mind has now become a physical reality. The distant rumbling has become a louder growl which rudely cuts into my internal conversations. At times, I feel like telling Shosho (my alter ego) to simply quiet down...After all, can’t you see I’m busy here!

My previous tome ended with the observation that it’s easy to resist temptation when it just isn’t there. You see, as I emerged from my teeny bopper years, a strange thing happened to me. I stopped being physically attracted to guys just because they looked like Denzel Washington. My first crush was a tall, serious looking guy with gorgeous stubble - a physical archetype that I confess my heart still goes aflutter over. But, as I grew older and my brain became my primary sexual organ, the level of sexual attraction was usually determined five minutes into the conversation, whether by text, phone call, chat or face-to-face. I've discovered that there are male versions of “dumb blondes”, good to look at – veritable eye candy – but essentially cold water to any form of fire. I call them preening peaCOCKS:-) It’s different for guys, I suppose – the ability to separate a physical need from good conversation and company, but for me, it just makes for very boring intimacy.

My friend was teasing me yesterday about offering his 'services' to me free-of-charge. I had mentioned that it’d been a while since I was thoroughly kissed. Yes, there’s some attraction, but like a buddy once told me – and then what? What happens next? After you get your groove on, then...? Perhaps I desire something of the more permanent variety.

I’m thinking this blog should help me think about what is really important to me in a guy. They say every lady has a LIST – you know the proverbial list of things that she desires in a man. Well, my list has evolved and been whittled down so much over the years that I need to stop for a moment to figure out what’s there right now. I will do two separate lists: What Makes Me Sexually Attracted To A Guy and What Makes A Guy Relationship Material.

I’m doing separate lists because I learnt that sexual attraction is amoral. It flares up and takes hold of your brain (and nether parts) irrespective of whether the guy is physically attractive, unattractive, single, married, of another religious or political bias or if he simply annoys you. Once certain factors are present in a guy, YOU WILL be attracted to him, despite your denial. All you can do is DECIDE whether or not you’ll respond to the attraction or how fast you’ll flee. Just because you're attracted to a guy doesn't make him good relationship material.

So, here goes my lists:

LIST ONE: WHAT MAKES ME SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO A GUY

1. Confidence: I’m not sure where guys get their confidence: Money, Intellectual Firepower, Self Esteem, Good Upbringing, Height, Good Looks, A Knowledge of Being Loved and Accepted...whatever it is...the thought of a guy who's truly not intimidated by me, doesn’t have anything to prove, can tell me exactly what he’s going to do to me and then grab me to whisk me off to bed to summarily show me, is quite intoxicating

2. Intellect & wisdom: I value deep unhurried conversations

3. Exposure: Cultural exposure is important to me. I love to joust verbally and also enjoy witty crazy conversations that make my sides burst with laughter. It’s hard to do this with a guy who’s not well read and exposed. Also, like a friend said: if you enjoy a man talking dirty to you, it sort of spoils the fun if he does so with a thick Yoruba accent!

4. Wit: An ability to make me laugh and feel like a mischievous child again. Someone who brings out Shosho, and gives Subomi a break for a change

5. A good heart: Someone I intuitively trust

LIST TWO: WHAT MAKES A GUY RELATIONSHIP MATERIAL

1. All of the above
2. His ideology: Should be non-traditional and completely centred on the teachings of a Jewish Carpenter who dared to be God
3. Obvious prosperity: I am allergic to poverty
4. Kindness and long suffering: Em...I can be em.. .difficult at times:-)
5. Friendship: Someone who has proven his friendship over time

So, there's my list. Mmn...who'd have thought?

Explorations of a Horny State of Mind

I am perhaps one of very few women who actually experience joy at the realisation that they didn’t get married in their 20s. The thought of being married without knowing what I know now positively frightens me, especially having been privy to the internal workings of quite a few marriages and breakups.

I wouldn’t trade the character forging, humility and wisdom that have been garnered, nor the painful lessons learned for anything.

I admit that there are challenges this 30-odd urban female experiences that I didn’t even think about when I was 20-something. I thank the Lord that certain troubles come during specific phases of life. I am pained when I see young people dealing with the problems of older folk, most especially when their parents die young or they are traumatically stripped of their childhood innocence – rape or sudden poverty will do that to you.

Today, I began thinking about my 20s because of a question a friend sent to me by SMS this morning. He wanted to know what I now do when I’m horny, having been privy to my internal struggles on the subject in the last couple of years. In preparing to answer his question, I was struck by a terrifying realisation – I hadn’t been earth-shatteringly, intensely horny in a while…I mean there were respectable rumblings…but not of the irrational-give me any live man- variety.

Now I know all my relevant anatomical parts are in good condition so it can’t be a medical issue. Could I be tired from work and psychologically traumatised by Lagos traffic? Was it because I had been down with the flu a few weeks back and only had thoughts of getting well? What happened to the glorious horny state of my 20s? Was it the recent lack of use of my equipment?!! Will getting laid bring back those sunny rainbow moments?:-) Sigh!

But wait, I digress.

Having thought about my friend’s question for a while, I responded by saying that I hadn’t summarily turned off the font from which all sexual desire spouts. I was just a bit weary. Weary of the incessant conflict between principle and desire; moral rectitude and pulsating hormones. Weary of navigating the aggressive or unspoken needs of men; of studying the pros and cons of barrier and hormonal prophylactics; of having to ask whether I’m pro-life or not; of considering and dealing with substitutable relievers like masturbation and oddly named contraptions…I was just tired.

A decade ago, I entered a brave new world of sexual awareness and discovery…now my brain and heart work overtime as they overflow with words like fairness, commitment, friendship, love, passion, gentleness…

My priorities have shifted. The older I grow, the more aware I am of purpose and of doing things that truly matter. I am more interested in giving and sharing. I have less patience for the intrigues of relationships or the subtleties of a frail ego. I am quick to speak the truth and more eager to hear it. I am no longer uncomfortable with my unwillingness to be uncomfortable nor do I shy away from the fact that I have means which aren’t depleting anytime soon. Interestingly, I am more willing to be a better person and to understand people than I used to be. I have been shown my shortcomings too often to be prideful.

I think a shift in priorities and maybe a greater focus on TRUTH has replaced the passionate storm with a quiet rumble. Or maybe I’m just old:-)

Finally, I mentioned to my friend that not having an outlet forces you to harness your passions or run mad. Having said a teary goodbye to fire, ice & dynamite without purpose or at the very least mental engagement, my options are sorely limited. It’s easier to resist temptation when it just isn’t there, isn’t it?:-) What thinkest thou?

Generational Irrelevance

During the TV broadcast of the 2009 Grammy Awards (the world’s most prestigious industry award for music), I watched as Whitney Houston mounted the stage in a magnificent dress to do the first presentation. As I considered the frown lines on her beautiful aging visage and her slightly incoherent (and I must add, over-dramatic) presentation, 2 things suddenly occurred to me:

1. I am much older than I realise
2. Whitney Houston is no longer very relevant to this generation of music buyers and listeners

You see, I grew up on Whitney, Micheal, Bobby, Anita, Mariah and Teddy (Riley not Pendergrass). A few years ago, music industry executives would have told you that the traditional music buying and MTV demographic spanned the 16-25 yr age range. This is changing. With the rise of the internet and by extension –instantaneous global information access and file sharing, that demographic is getting younger and younger. Music appeals to all age groups and music videos, no matter how raunchy still merit a Universal rating and can be viewed by children.

This neo-generation wasn’t born at the height of Whitney’s fame. They didn’t watch Bodyguard or for that matter Thriller. Any wonder that Michael Jackson is considered a living legend or freak show? They never saw him do the Moonwalk at Motown 25, so who the hell is he to define dance?

In musical history parlance, this is the age of the “tweens” – Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift and The Jonas Brothers define the era. They are the new role models and pop stars. Music is getting younger folks and it’s been that way since the rise of the 90s boy bands and record label group creations. Presidents may fete Stevie Wonder but the public adores and buys Miley Cyrus!

In an age where Britney Spears reached her peak at 26(!), something is definitely shifting. Think about it, people like Britney, Beyonce and John Mayer have lived the entire career of established rockers. An average 26-year old pop star has been married, divorced, had 2 kids, won 4 Grammies, an Oscar, performed across all 4 continents, bought a Lamborghini, a summer home in Provence, served a jail term, been to rehab and back, posed for Playboy/girl, directed and starred in a R-music video, been photographed doing drugs, gotten born again, came out of the closet, been a UN Ambassador, been charged with Assault and Battery…..you catch my drift.

I often wonder about the immense pressure that must be on these stars. They have literally lived entire lives in a quarter of a lifetime.

Back to Whitney. The other night, I also listened to her “come-back” song…you know, the duet with Akon that was as tepid to a musical perfectionist as Mase’s come-back song was uninspiring. It hit me then…that Whitney really can no longer be relevant to this neo-generation. It is no longer her time. I admit that some people have tried to reinvent themselves over and over…Madonna did it…R.Kelly is still doing it…but my argument is that Madonna is a singularity, a unique individual who carved out a space - she created it and then dominated it. R.Kelly became a masterful innovator…transiting from New Jack Swing and youthful R “n” B to a more mature “Soul” reminiscent of Marvin Gaye. He has now metamorphosed into a storyteller and Pied Piper. Innovation and reinvention has bought him some time…but ultimately we will begin to get that nagging feeling that something’s off if he does one more duet with someone who’s young enough to be his son (Usher in Same Girl).

Innovation should not be underemphasised…it sustains careers and helps artists mine tremendous value from their talents. But I have never met an artist in Nigeria who took a strategic approach to their career. As I began to catalogue what it took to succeed as an artist in Nigeria, I was amazed (and saddened) that for many, it’s still a hit-or-miss affair…It seems artists succeed by stroke of luck or fate or whatever…it’s rarely “deliberately created”. Because the artiste doesn’t know how he succeeded, he also doesn’t know how to sustain or reinvent it.

Why did Styl Plus’ 3rd album stink? Why did Tuface even bother with his latest effort? What created D’Banj? What is creating M.I? Why is Modenine not as relevant as he used to be? Why did we barely notice his last album? And why are artistes not paying any attention to the lessons of history? Sigh.

Now, let’s discuss some IT…Mark Zuckerberg (now 24 yrs old), was uniquely positioned to create Facebook at the time he did. He was 19 at the time, and in the thick of youth culture on a Harvard campus. Today, Bill Gates no longer plays the role of IT whizzkid…he’s shifted priorities to focus on healthcare in the 3rd World. Steve Jobs is ill and getting old and tired. Jerry Yang has been eased into oblivion. The Google boys are enjoying their moment in the sun for a while before being replaced by 20-something year olds.

The thing is, at some point, in every field , the baton must be handed over…indeed you only have a short whilee to enjoy the fleeting nature of fame and then you must slide into generational irrelevance…or more precisely…you then need to take stock, refocus, restrategise and find new relevance in matters that concern an older generation. You cannot sell old stuff to new kids. A person always exists within a generational context. National politics is best played by a generation that has achieved professional and financial clout. But student politics is the domain of youths.

The truth is, whichever generation you belong to, there is a specific role for to be played. Do it quickly before your time is up. Perhaps if you fulfill your role well enough, the impact will spill over to other generations. For instance, I will buy a Jonas Brothers CD if it moves me, although I do not belong to their generation. They will own a share of my mind and money simply by being the best at what they do. But I am not their primary market. So, it is true that you can influence other generations when you successfully focus on yours. I am reminded of the words of the Biblical Chronicler…“David served God in his generation”. There are things that a man is uniquely gifted to do, but if he doesn’t do it soon, it will become irrelevant.

Again, during the 2009 Grammies, four hip hop stars - Kanye West, T.I, Lil’ Wayne and Jay Z performed Swagger Like Us. Once upon a time, Jay Z would have been the highpoint of the performance. Amazingly, he barely registered against the backdrop of brilliant and fresh talent like Kanye West’s or even Lil’ Wayne. Perhaps, it’s time for Jay Z to reinvent himself.

You know it’s time to reinvent yourself when you used to be the smartest person in the room, or the best singer or the best entertainer and then one day you wake up to find that other people are. There are talents deep within you. And those talents are for your generation. Perhaps it’s time to grow up, stop bemoaning the good old days and consider how you can be relevant now.

“One generation passeth away, and another generation cometh: but the earth abideth for ever. To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven”. King Solomon, 967 B.C

On the Brink of Anarchy

A few days ago I tried to figure out why the Nigerian Police has not embarked on a shooting spree in Lagos, Nigeria; maiming and killing as they go.

It is surely not the presence of overarching law and order.
It isn’t our non-existent forensic technology that will ultimately ensure their apprehension.
It isn’t the terrified eyewitnesses to whom it is no concern.
It isn’t the good people in the corridors of power whose voices will ultimately be silenced and who will eventually be disgraced out of office.
It isn’t the multitude of Facebook groups appropriately titled: “Nigerians Against Police Brutality” or “1,000,000 Nigerians Decry Police Violence”.
It isn’t this article buried among millions of others.
It isn’t prayers to a God who has just about given up on a lazy generation that can’t seem to use what he’s freely given efficiently.

I reasoned that our Policemen haven’t gone on a shooting spree (even when its so blindingly obvious that they can get away with it) is because of whatever shred of decency they have left and the fact that their psychological state hasn’t degenerated to the abysmal level of their paycheck! In other words, we’re entirely dependent on their goodwill!

Another thought: For those who routinely pass by Law School (Adeola Hopewell Street)in Victoria Island, Lagos at night, it is not an uncommon sight to see Policemen bundling prostitutes into their vans, as group sex is exchanged for the right to ply a trade. Is it any wonder then, that men who are used to demanding for sex free-of-charge from the disadvantaged sex would stop on a Lagos Street at 10pm and bundle a group of innocent female friends enroute a nightclub, and not be punished for it?

As seemingly good government officials are routinely asked to resign, disgraced, harassed or hounded by the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC), is it any wonder that there are fewer and fewer role models?

How do you convince a young man in Nigeria that if he studies, works hard, lives right and is diligent, he’ll be rewarded, when he’s entirely surrounded by the contrary? After all, we celebrate the 419 kingpin when he comes home for the holidays and accord him multiple chieftaincy titles. His only fear is of being kidnapped. Practically anyone can be kidnapped nowadays.

And if you haven’t noticed, women are being raped and assaulted in broad daylight. Even traditional clothing is deemed too sexual if the straps are any thinner than a foot wide!

In Lagos, we are bowing under the weight of Task Forces – every check point is seemingly illegal and traffic cops will demand for bribes with very few exceptions. It has become a way of life; the cost of doing business. It seems progression and beautification of a State must come at the price of totalitarianism, brute force, extortion and impunity.

The goings on have made me very very angry. I am angry because the solutions will only come from my generation (the previous one having mortgaged the future). Yet, I am worried at the damage that has been wreaked on our minds. Our arms are so weak; the burdens we bear so unnaturally heavy. And in the midst of it all, our country cries for salvation. Our country demands action not rhetoric or excuses.

We have an ongoing crisis of Leadership. Sacrificial, “it-must-be-done-or-I-die leadership”! Not just political leadership but individual leadership. Our generation is so busy, busy, busy that we leave leadership and engagement to louts, touts, layabouts and self seeking sycophants. Increasingly, our intellectual inferiors are becoming political leaders, simply because they had the time to attend the political meetings and run for office. We can’t all engage directly, but we can sponsor and empower those who can. We can all become political godfathers in one way or another.

We can all do the right thing at work, home, on the street, because that’s the way it ought to be and that is how it will be once again. The alternative is an evil unthinkable future.

For years, I have steadily and consciously been building a network of good, honorable people. The people I call the Leaders of the New Generation. I have sworn to stick by them, for without support and the encouragement that comes from knowing they are not alone; without constant conversation, they will lose hope and fall into the morass. I have pledged my life to helping them succeed with my money, resources, networks, intellect and time. I do believe that:

One man will make a difference
One man will change the world
One man will defeat the evil
One man will be sent, called, empowered or simply volunteer when there’s no one else
One man will arise in my lifetime.

Journey to the UK & US Part Two

I will be impolitic again and mention that my first impression of the US on arrival from the UK was that the public spaces were less pristine, the people less fashion conscious and much bigger. Truth be told, and I’m shamelessly generalizing here, Americans apparently don’t bother to dress up. They look like they just rolled out of bed and don’t give a damn about it. Baggy clothes are the de facto uniform in this part of the world and I must admit, I was influenced by this trend during the latter part of my stay.

Having been frustrated by Apple Itunes in Nigeria, I was finally able to open an Itunes account in the US and using my login name, I can use it wherever I am, even here in Naija. Apple needs to have its head examined…I can’t add songs to my Iphone from another computer, so now my flash drive is my “library” and I have to carry it everywhere I go!!! Furthermore, I can only authorize 5 computers with my Itunes account and any music I buy on Itunes can’t be changed into MP3s. What’s the point of having a sophisticated Iphone? With the old Ipod, at least you can transfer music at will. Naija babe in bitching frenzy. Word!

New Jersey can be a bit depressing. I had a wonderful time visiting my friend but for about a week, I was on edge. I realized it was because I had this nagging sensation that I was in "Surulere", even though I had paid hundreds of thousands of Naira to “go abroad”. There were Naijas everywhere (and to be fair also a good number of Latinos & Portuguese), African shops, hairdressing salons everywhere you turn…common! Now I better understand how Nigerians can travel and the country they visit doesn’t really pass through them! They remain so cloistered in the Nigerian community: eat, go to school, go to church, befriend & live with one another….

A major difference between Asia and UK/America is that in Asia, one rarely sees black faces and you get the sense you’re in an exotic locale…truly abroad. I bet you may also feel like that in some primarily Caucasian European countries.

I value new experiences. I respect the ability to reach out to embrace and understand the best of other cultures while junking the worst of yours…and a lot of what I saw exhibiting as African culture in NJ was (…insert something very unkind here).

I don’t know who infected who, ‘cause even the names of the churches in NJ are suspect – “Aroma of Christ Ministries (Deliverance Chapel)”, “Deliverance Jesus Is Coming Church” and “United Prayer Of All People Church”!

The transportation system in America is not as extensive as Europe’s, though the train system in NY is pretty good and there’s a stop sign at almost every bus stop in NJ, giving you time to figure out where you are. As in Europe, get a pay-as-you-go transport card or deal with bringing out the exact change for every trip! The UK is definitely more structured than the US. On public escalators, you get a sense of order. If you want to simply stand, you stay on the far right making room for people who want to walk up. Enroute the tube, there are distinct pathways for people going to and fro.

It was weird watching TV in America…seeing and hearing about places you had just visited and realizing the Obama-McCain debacle was going on right there…figuratively just next door.

Travelling really helped me appreciate the progress we’ve made in Naija. We’ve really come a long way. What is lacking are 3 major things – Systems (Law & Order, Security, Checks & Balances Against Corruption/Power Abuse), Infrastructure (Particularly Power & Transportation) and Global Consumer Brands (Sometimes, just seeing a MacDonald’s or Starbucks evokes a feeling of development). Without intelligent, resolute and compassionate leadership, we cannot have any of these things.

After spending some time in New Jersey, I was off to Michigan, a land of wide open spaces and beautiful fall colours. There are trees in Michigan! On the way to my host’s home, I noticed a curious sign advertising an Adult SUPERSTORE. I reasoned it must be a store with a very very wide selection of porn! :-) In NJ, there are advertisements asking you to donate your car (I learnt you can get a tax break if you donate a used car to a school). In Michigan, you’re asked to donate your boat!

The best way to see America is to drive. There are pretty good directional signs on the highways and armed with a GPS, you can go anywhere. But, be prepared for holdups during rush hour, especially at tolls. America is a land of regions with distinct customs, accents, habits and cultures – the Mid-West, Down South, The City…A key difference from Nigeria is that because there is one common language and destiny, while customs and cultures thrive, there is no “tribalism”. Americans tend to cluster around things like sports, food and events like Thanksgiving. There are a lot of self-service functions in America – Gas Stations, Ticketing Stands; even the Gym may be unmanned! The cinemas show full 15 minute previews, so you can afford to stroll in a bit late.

On a curious note, peeing in the open is a sexual offence in Michigan (a variant of Indecent Exposure). If you’re caught, you will be registered as a sex offender. In Europe/America, weather reports are important! A few degrees matter. When it’s cold, it’s freeeeeeeeeezing.

As you travel, you tend to collect/need an odd assortment of information at your fingertips– tourist locations you’d like to revisit, credit/debit card numbers, log in details for various websites, bank account numbers, internet banking log in details, hotel honours numbers, frequent flier numbers, passport number, phone numbers, addresses…the list goes on…I wish there was some way to manage this stuff without worrying about them falling into the wrong hands…

Journey to the UK & US Part One - Updated Sept '12

I will begin this blog by stating the obvious: The UK and US aren’t like what many people think. As tourist destinations and lands of opportunity, many countries outclass them, by far. However, knowing this didn’t dissuade me from visiting these countries and sure as hell won’t dissuade anyone else either. So, I shall attempt to provide the would-be traveler with a few subjective insights.

I have found that the formula for surviving/enjoying a trip to any developed city is pretty much the same.

First ACCOMODATION…(this does not apply to you if you’re staying with family or friends though). Before you go, do a search online or ask around for the major shopping district or city centre. Usually, there’is a street or region that captures the city’s sights and sounds. For example, Oxford Steet in London or 5th Avenue in New York. It will be expensive to stay in the actual area, but the trick is to look for a hotel just “off” the street – say 5 to 10 minutes walk from the centre. That way, you’re not only safely inured from the hustle and bustle, but you save hundreds of dollars on hotel expenses. You’re also minutes away from shopping, the cinema, the spa, eateries, tourist attractions, train station…everything! Finding the ideal hotel location is absolutely key when you go on vacation. I always look for a hotel close to a cinema and Borders or Barnes & Nobles. Yes, am a book worm and love coffee.

Now, COMMUNICATION. For business travelers, you may find it useful to roam your country phone while having another handy for a local sim card. Buy a sim card and top up on credits at the airport when you arrive. Be sure to read the fine print and ask for special offers, which operators can SMS seamlessly with your country’s networks etc. If you plan to visit the country frequently, it may be cheaper to simply get a contract line or bundled minutes using your host’s contact details on the registration form (with his consent, of course).

As per MOBILITY, there are some cities that have great public transportation networks e.g Singapore and London. Go to a train station and buy a pay-as-you-go card or travel card. It works on both trains and buses and saves you from having to count out the exact change for every trip. If you’re going to be all over the place within a few days then a “fixed period travel card” is a better option, but if you’re not sure how often you’ll be on the road or you plan to revisit the city, the pay-as-you-go card is a safer bet. You can top it up when needed and use it for years.

On your first day in a new city, it may be nice to do a guided city tour just to get a feel of the city before striking off on your own. There are many guided tours available online or through your hotel. During the tourist season, book a few days in advance for the most popular tours.

London reminds me of Singapore with a multitude of bicycles! It makes sense when you remember that Singapore was a British Colony. The architecture and feel’s the same. You can also stroll to most places as every where’s connected! To my amazement, the people really love to eat…and eat…standing up, walking, in the park, leaning against the wall…This is truly the city of sandwiches. And yet everyone seems so trim. Maybe because they walk about so much. I love pie so I proceeded to sample a different type each morning at the nearest café. Also, try to sample gourmet pizza at a Pizza Express. I attended a Brand Conference while in London (where I was the only black participant). One of the speakers from Pizza Express so extolled the virtues of their gastronomic delights that I just had to taste one. I wasn’t disappointed! There’s one at Dean Street, just off Oxford Street ( by Oxford Circus Station). When I travel, I never have issues with food. I love rice based dishes and anything crusty so can do Italian (pizza and pasta), as well as chinese and thai (rice, chicken). I always find stuff to eat. Tap water is safe to drink in the UK, but I noticed that when I ask for tap water with my meal at a restaurant…I get a side glance that says…”you cheapskate, you can’t order spring water”? For where? Asko!

For bar hoppers, The Slug & Lettuce isn’t a bad place to visit. Kinda reminds me of News Café. There’s one not too far from Bank Station. For clubbers, try Abacus or Revolution in the same area. At the train station, everyone rushes to the train platform…why I don’t know, as there’s a train about every 5 minutes…so what’s the rush? The cold? The truth is, it’s hard to truly destresss in a modern city. ‘Tis better to retire to a lake in Italy or a farm in Texas.

Like in all good cities, there are directional signs everywhere and many things are automated, though you may ask for help. Many service positions are manned by the young, friendly and earnest and they’re usually up-to-date and competent.

The Monuments are a bit disappointing…apparently pictures do better justice than the real thing. At the Tower of London, I took one look at the “family jewels” and thought…”is this it?” By the way, I will never do the London Eye again. Perhaps, it’s an activity for photographers, as it’s incredibly slow and boring and I don’t give a flying fig about a “panoramic view of the city”. Madam Tussaud’s was worth it though. You really can’t tell who’s real and who’s not in the dim lightingJ.

I came across some intriguing business names in London – Jupiter (a financial services firm with the payoff: We are on this planet to perform!), The Couch Bar, Eat..the real food company, St. Mary’s Axe.

Another point to note – excellence and good taste have no geographical demarcation. Good taste traverses cultural barriers…a point I’ll speak more on when I get to my US observations.

The UK and US are cities of offers. Everywhere you go, you’re asked to buy 2 for the price of 1.5 or a bigger size to save money. At a time, I felt like shouting: “It’s my money! I don’t want two…just one and I don’t mind paying for it”!

Suffice to say, I did the whole tourist thing in London which I won’t bore you with. Unfortunately, I didn’t do much shopping (I did that in the US) so I can’t comment much on that. From London, I took a train to Bradford to visit my sister who’s studying there. Bradford is an old sleepy erstwhile industrial town. It’s quite peaceful and basically a university town now. I also visited Saltaire in West Yorskshire (Aire: River, so…Salt River). It’s a UN Heritage site built by a miller who used the river as a source of hydro-electric power. He sorta reminded me of Hershey and Heinz: 2 great socially responsible entrepreneurs. Now, I’m going to be impolitic by mentioning that Bradford is also cheekily known as the Islamic Community of Bradford or Bradistan because of the large Middle Eastern Population. If that is so, then perhaps Peckham should be known as Naijaland!

I like the British. They exude a sense of responsibility, politeness, order and quiet efficiency. They mind their business, but are very helpful and do so with a smile. They do unglamorous jobs with thoughtfulness and efficiency. And the city reflects this thoughtfulness…sidewalks with wheelchair access, public toilets everywhere, directional signs, public transportation. Parking space is still an issue and there are congestion charges in the West End.

In summary, London is an okay place to visit ENROUTE some place else…it’s not a place to stay. Perhaps if I had visited more cultural sites like Stonehenge, I may have had a richer experience.

Travel Musings

Kindness will make me fall in love, but a sense of purposefulness and a heart after God will keep me there.

My big sister is a really kind, responsible person. She kinda reminds me of my Dad.

My Nokia phone with the numeric keyboard is my handiest tool – it’s my reminder, alarm clock, communicator, diary, notepad, sms machine…

Why must bed sheets have strange flower patterns? They remind me of paramecia, protozoa or amoeba or something…

Books never go out of fashion. Unlike clothes, in 50 years, you can still find a book.

Men try to do what they think women like. Sometimes, we’re quite clueless and it helps to periodically check to see whether we’ve changed our minds about that thing we like.

Anytime I get depressed, I think of all the books I haven’t read, the new music I haven’t heard and the interesting people I haven’t met and I cheer up again.

Give it to me

Give it to me
Anyhow, anyway, strong, black or brown
Just give it to me right now!

I need to do it
I crave the way it feels
Rushing through me, in me

So, who's gonna do it, drive me, ride me
Till i'm tired and can't do it any more?
Who's gonna call me on
My Blackberry, PC or phone?

Who's gonna demand more
Insist that i do it this way or that?
Go further than anyone else
Turn me into an unfeeling performing machine?

Who's gonna pull me and push me
This way and that

Who's gonna bend me over backward
And keep at it till I'm spent, worn out, exhausted?

Just give it to me
Anyway, anyhow, strong, black or brown
Give me that potent brew
of exquisite, hot coffee!

Pain

My pain speaks a subtle language
It exclaims in the aches and pains in my joints
It whispers in the tears that escape the corners of my eyes
It sighs in the breath from my front teeth
It pounds in my temples & the back of my neck

My pain speaks a subtle language
It is the language of silence, grief and emptiness


*Composed at a client strategy session as part of an impromptu poetry exercise

Random Thoughts 2

1. I did not lose music.
Music lost me.

I did not betray friendship.
Friendship betrayed me.

I did not write the words.
The words wrote me.

I did not seek God.
God sought me.

2. I sleep better in hotels. I can control the environment i wake up in. No waking up to the sound of workmen in the uncompleted building outside my window, the sound of my brother reading aloud or blaring loud music. Even better, no waking up to an unexplained bat flying around my room or spine-tingling rustling sounds under my bed.

3. I sleep worse in hotels. I hate the vast empty bed and the quiet room after a long day of meetings in a foreign town.

4. I am a culturally illiterate African. I am learning more and more that language is a thought pattern and lifestyle. For example, the concept of "Ori" in Yoruba is much deeper than just a "Head" and "Aiye Loja" goes much deeper than simply "Earth is a market".

I don't speak Yoruba thus i don't think in Yoruba. I now realise that this has its pros and cons. As i cannot undo the past, i choose to focus more on the pros. I don't have any cultural baggage, have a bulletpoint brain, do not speak in lenghty code and can comfortably lead people much older than i am. Conversely, i can be tactless, am uncomfortable around family and find it difficult to relate to metaphoric poetry. You see, many languages paint pictures and one word may mean an entire story. I will probably never be able to truly appreciate this side of poetry. I also find it difficult to understand inuendos. I once read that in Japanese culture, grunts and gestures speak a thousand words. I would probably not be able to relate to this.

Deep random thoughts

I am so so so tired, that i will not pretend to structure this post at all. I'll simply document on paper, my thoughts over the last few weeks.

1. As a kid, I considered Barney quite stupid. I still do.

2. A song will make me buy a CD
A verse, a book of poetry
A great vacation, a home in a foreign country
And an act of kindness may birth a friendship that lasts a lifetime

3. I am a strange thing in a woman’s world: Sure, strong, efficient, a leader. Yet, I long to simply be a woman - to be led and held by someone greater than I. If nature abhors a vacuum then life has turned me into something of a control freak. When I’m surrounded by incompetence, my instinctive reaction is to step in to avoid someone else, for even a second, destroying the very things I value/ennoble and subjecting me to the scourge of mediocrity.

4. I had my first real consciousness of being emotionally lonely at 28. I realize now that “everything” I have done since then, has been in a bid to escape this cloying, overwhelming thing. I have chased shadows. Quite frankly, I cannot say I regret anything but it is finally time for my head to “correct”.

5. If you don’t feed love, it dies. That’s how I know that all love-induced hurt eventually fades away. Pain stays buried deep inside until you provide a channel for it to dissipate. I usually have a soundtrack/verse for all the painful periods in my life. They are my channels. Although the dull ache remains, when love comes again, it heals, reaffirms and makes me stronger.

6. My brain/life is in overdrive. It must be the side-effects of reading, particularly reading the Word of God. The Word changes, elevates, equips, makes you intelligent, deep & wise. It also gives you incredible faith. You become passionate and bold. You believe God for incredible, wonderful, impossible things.

7. Disobedience, disbelief, anger, worry and guilt are all related. Someday, I shall tell you about it.

8. My new motto for people who annoy me: “I will surely kill you before you kill me”.

9. The difference between a man and a male: Leadership and responsibility. I would like to learn what critically differentiates a woman from a female. Any ideas?

10. Three ways I determine what makes a person tick/what kind of person they are: a.What they are passionate about is what defines them. b. Their speech and words reveal their level of education, cultural exposure and open-mindedness. c. The animation in their eyes reveals whether they are driven, self-aware or defeated.

11. I didn’t know it would be like this.

12. The people we don’t love, but who love us remind us why we should never love those people who don’t seem to love us back.

13. The loved can never ignore his lover. The lover always desires his loved.

14. Text messages have revealed a lot about my “friends”.

15. The only way to stop loving is to replace the love with indifference or pulsating anger.

16. I’ve seen some of the best acting on World Wrestling Entertainment.

17. Many times, maturity is only attained in your 30s. There are some things God will not entrust to you until you’re mature.

18. I finally “get” authority.

19. I “got” friendship a long time ago.

20. Three ways God teaches us: His word, relationships and experiences. He exalts his word above his name (his manifestations/experiences). Experience is a horrible and expensive teacher. Instruction is cheaper.

21. Excellence is a way of life, not an act or accomplishment. Excellence in this life is simply practice for an eternity of excellence. If you don’t learn it now, you will be forced to live it then. But, you will be placed under the authority of others who were more excellent than you were. Authority doesn’t end on earth. Get used to it.

22. Purpose is locational. Success is about purpose. You can only be truly successful when you have achieved your purpose. And purpose is always within a certain context/location. It is interesting that Joseph (Zaphnathpaaneah) was declared “a successful man” while he was still in “Jail”. Come to think of it, he was always well “located”. Everything else – the glory, riches etc. were simply outflows. If he had died in prison, even then, God would have considered him successful. The glory wasn’t his success.

There will be many successful labourers and unsuccessful millionaires. Many rich men will desire favours from Lazaruses.

Things i adore

Sunlight streaming into a room
Friendship
A good bear hug
A star-filled sky
Cuddling up on a rainy day
Soft kisses
Laughter
R 'n' B slow jams
Beauty
The knowledge of being loved
Doing the right thing
Order
A much needed cold coke
Knowledge & wisdom
Kindness & gentleness
Mind sharpening conversation
Purple
Mischief
"Chemistry"
Quietness
Accomplishment
Efficiency
The smell of dust & talc
A full moon
Washing my hair
Freshly laundered sheets
A clean bathroom
Wide spaces
Words
Being at peace with my world
Walking barefoot
Holidays
Nice tasting toothpaste
Projects & more projects
Liberty & the freedom to be
Ice cream
Going out on a date in a musical environment
Movies
Jim Henson's Muppets
Purpose & direction
Birthdays (but only when friends are around)
Celebrations
New experiences
Committed & reliable people
Clean hands
My shorts
Cake I can sink my teeth into (no raisins please)
Chin-chin
Being talked or read to sleep
Someone gently pulling at the little curls at the back of my head
A good head & foot massage
Real people
Sincerity
Guys who are secure
Fresh tomatoes and pepper
Good service
Music and more music
Easy to use gadgets
Living
Resolution
When God is near
When troubles are finally over and done with
Killing, annihilating & squashing anything with six legs
Justice
Mercy
Completion
Interesting questionnaires
The smell of rain
Avenues
Newly sprung grass
Board games
New music
24 hr services and stores
When people tell it like it really is
When I have 3 hours more & the fun has just begun
Helping people actualise their dreams
Watches that have 'everything" - date, day etc.
The guitar & trumpet
Coming home to my favourite meal - rice

Untitled

In rage I bellow at the elements by which I am proscribed
I spit in the face of the inevitables and unmovables
I rant, rave and curse the invisibles that mock my pain
And I puff in puerile futility at the internal inferno that consumes me

In relief I embrace the kisses of the morning
I revel in accomplishments old & new
I rediscover old forgotten consorts
And accept life’s gifts with grudging acknowledgment

In sadness, I ponder missed opportunities
Goals unattained
Mistakes unforgiven
And consider unremarkable chapters of an incidental past

I wonder, is joy to be found in deep reflection and intellectual pursuits?
And peace within the regimented life of a disciple?
Does happiness accompany self-correction & self-righteousness?
Is laughter friend to resolute will and determination?

I think not
For surely laughter is for fools
And levity for the simple and childlike
They bear no burdens, ask nothing and understand little
Troubling not fate, they are seldom tasked by Life

Reaching for nothing; gaining naught
Existing; failing to live
Plodding in soldierly fashion; constituting the plebeian rank & file

Little wonder then at my desperate flight, reach & aspiration
The profligate spending of soul and sweat currency
My bold Archillean quest for immortality
And my liberal use of the crimson ink of legacy

For I reach for glory, remembrance & permanence
And ruthlessly disown my twin brothers of fear and uncertainty